And to top it all off...it was written by a male! Tee hee!


--- In achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com, Phyllis Dobrinsky
<phyldob123@...> wrote:
>
> I do not think I have ever read anything so true and so funny. I am
forwarding this to all my female friends (and maybe one or two male ones).
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: teddybear1937 <teddybear1937@...>
> To: achangewilldoyougood@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Monday, January 12, 2009 9:38:01 AM
> Subject: [ACWDYG ] The Difference Between Men and Women
>
>
> If you like Dave Berry, you will enjoy this.....
>
> The Difference Between Men and Women
> (By Dave Barry)
>
> Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He
> asks her out to dinner; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A
> few nights later he asks her out again; and again they enjoy
> themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a
> while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
>
> And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to
> Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you
> realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly
> six months?"
>
> And then there is silence in the car.
>
> To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I
> wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling
> confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him
> into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
>
> And Roger is thinking: Wow! Six months.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
> relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so
> I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going
> the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going?
> Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy?
> Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime
> together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even
> know this person?
>
> And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see... February
> when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the
> dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa! I am way
> overdue for an oil change here.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe
> I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our
> relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed,
> even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I
> bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his
> own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
>
> And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the
> transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not
> shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold
> weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing
> is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves
> $600.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be
> angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't
> help the way I feel.
>
> I'm just not sure.
>
> And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day
> warranty... idiots.
>
> And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
> knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right
> next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person
> I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A
> person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic
> fantasy.
>
> And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They'd better not say its only a
> 90-day warranty.
>
> "Roger," Elaine says aloud.
>
> "What?" says Roger, startled.
>
> "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes
> beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh my, I
> feel so... (She breaks down, sobbing.)
>
> "What?" says Roger.
>
> "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I
> really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
>
> "There's no horse?" says Roger.
>
> "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
>
> "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
>
> "It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Elaine says.
>
> There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can,
> tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one
> that he thinks might work. "Yes," he says.
>
> Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel
> that way?" she says.
>
> "What way?" says Roger.
>
> "That way about time," says Elaine.
>
> "Oh," says Roger. "Yes."
>
> Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him
> to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it
> involves a horse. At last she speaks.
>
> "Thank you, Roger," she says.
>
> "Thank you," says Roger.
>
> Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted,
> tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
>
> When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on
> the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis
> match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in
> the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going
> on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he
> would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he
> doesn't think about it.
>
> The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of
> them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.
> In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and
> everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every
> word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering
> every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this
> subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any
> definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
>
> Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual
> friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and
> say, "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"
>
> And that's the difference between men and women.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>