Elements of Being Sexually Abused – Part 8: Can
Anything Good Come out of It?

As youngsters, children, teen – agers and even young
adults, it is hard sometimes to see where the
experiences of our lives are taking us and leading us
to, and perhaps more importantly, teaching us.

Sometimes we do not realize the significance of what
we have seen and experienced until we reach a certain
age or stage of our life, or embark on some path or
practice that gives us an insight to see things more
clearly.

Perhaps, if you have taken some time to glance over
this piece of discourse, you may be in a midst of some
experience and feelings that are very confusing for
you to deal with or understand.

And you may not see a way out of it or them or some
kind of wise and healthy lesson to learn from the
feelings and experiences that you are going through.

Or perhaps it is something in the recent or distant
path that weighs at you or weighs you down in darkness
or sorrow.

One recurring experience that I have had in my life is
to meet people who have been sexually abused at some
time in their life or youth.

It is widespread, perhaps even more widespread then
figures suggest.

And every person that I have met who has been sexually
abused as a child is suffering in some manner, as
regards their sexuality and sexual desires, as regards
drugs, drink or some kind of substance abuse, as
regards their ability to have a healthy and wholesome
relationship with others, on a superficial, friendly
and intimate level.

So one wonders can anything good come out of having
been sexually abused as a child?

It is hard to see how anything good could come from
such an experience.

Perhaps there are two things that may be cultivated
into the consciousness of someone who has been
sexually abused as a child or teen-ager.

One is to understand what a terrible thing it is so
that they will not want to be the same way or do the
same thing to someone else.

It seems to be a commonly accepted fact that those who
have been sexually abused as children are more likely
to sexually abuse children when they get older, though
this may not be true in all cases, and that people who
have never been sexually abused as children may also
commit offenses such as this.

Sexual desire and the unconscious desires of a man’s
or woman’s consciousness can work in strange ways.

Another thing that is good that may come out of such
an experience is to more fully understand the beauty
of innocence and purity among the young in this world
and work harder to maintain and nurture it.

This can be done as parents, or church or school
leaders.

Also, those who have been sexually abused may be
thankful that they still have other opportunities to
pursue in life, a life of their own making, no longer
under the influence of the person who abused them in
the first place.

They may also realize and be thankful that they still
can grow and have not suffered any kind of severe or
long - lasting mental or physical handicap as a result
of their abuse.

So maybe, in some strange or offbeat way, we can say
that something good may come out of such an
experience, that being a greater appreciation for the
beauty and innocence of youth and that one can make a
strong and conscious effort to not be such a person
themselves.

Also, one may be able to advise or counsel people who
have suffered in such a way once they have come to
grips with and better understand their own feelings
and thoughts as a result of having been sexually
abused themselves.

It is not a condition or situation that we wish for
others or we wish for ourselves to have experienced,
but we may still be able to take the experience and
with time, insight and effort, turn it into something
that can work as a positive force in our own life or
in the way we may direct or interact with another’s
life.

© 2004 John C. Kimbrough

(John lives and teaches in Bangkok, Thailand. He can
be reached at johnckimbrough@...)


=====
Yours in Yoga,

John

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