Hi Chris,
Thank you so much for your warm welcome. I fully understand re: the control thing and the way you grew up. My story is a lot like yours, different of course in some ways like we all are. It takes a lot of courage at times to just put one foot in front of the other. If it were not for my belief and those that have stuck by me through all of this, I do know that it would of gotten far worse.

Life has a way of throwing curve balls at us, and I sometimes seek the solitude of my home which in many more ways then one has  become my prison. So much of this is the way we were raised,,,even tho dysfuntional is a common word nowadays, but when I was being raised guess I just thought all the chaos etc,,was normal. Looking back now and the trials I have been though in life, knowing that I am still around for some reason, gives me hope. It is surely a rollercoaster ride, but as you mentioned we have to have hope.

I am in contact with a woman that was on the Dr Phil show, and from what she has told me there is a new device out there that will truly be heaven sent for us that suffer with so much of this. I will keep you all updated,,,if it helps one person then it is all worth it.

Have a great day, and thanks again for sharing your thoughts with me. Appreciate it very much,,,
Winged Hugs~
Seagull
<><

--- In a-i-m@yahoogroups.com, "Chris Fragassi" <spektek@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Lasvegascgull!
>
> I am also new to this site but have suffered with panic/anxiety attacks and some agoraphobia and everything that goes with it for most of my life. I could relate to a lot of what you describe, including the belief that I "had it all under control". I think a lot of the anxiety actually can be traced to a fear of loss of control. I grew up in an alcoholic home and because there was a lot of chaos in my life, I believed from a very young age that since chaos was frightening, my goal in life was to keep things in control and to prevent chaos. I am trying to "accept the things I cannot change" more and trying to realize that I can't control or prevent some things in my life. It's very hard sometimes. I have recently gone through some major life changes and am finding that I am battling more anxieties and phobias, including a fear of driving. I work at home now, which helps, but in some ways I think it reinforces the agoraphobia. It is depressing some days, when I feel like I'll never get over this, but I try to remember "There's no place like hope". I also have another saying that I remind myself of often: "Courage doesn't always roar...sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'." Good luck to you. I hope I hear more from you and how you're coping. It helps a lot to know that we're not alone. By the way, I share your phobia concerning dentists. It always causes me severe anxiety when I know I have to go for an appointment, even for a simple cleaning.
>
> Peace and serenity.
>
> Chris
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: lasvegascgull
> To: a-i-m@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Monday, October 09, 2006 2:31 PM
> Subject: [a-i-m] New To Group~
>
>
> Hello,
>
> I joined this group today, found out about AIM via another group I belong to which sent a site on anxiety and just happened to click on AIM. Thanks to asking Mary Ann about whether they have any groups here in Las Vegas, I have now joined here and also met a fellow AIM member that does not live far from me. We were able to meet up yesterday at a park down the street from me.
>
> A bit about me,,,as I would be able to write a book like most of you that have this disorder. I went through some major issues in my life, and from what counselors etc have told me I did not learn coping skills. I always "believed" that I had it all in control,,,till the rug was pulled out from under me. Looking back now I realize that they are right. So with time and such with this disorder, I have been on the "brighter side" of it,,and the "darker side" too. I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks, PTSD, Agora and the beat goes on,,,,and depression of course is a part of all of it. I know there is no magic wand that can get rid of this, but would love to get rid of it or control it better. Looking back I believe I was "born and raised" to fall into this pattern,,,,if it is so easy to see it would seem to be easy to get rid of. But as I have found out it isn't.
>
> I also suffer from a major phobia with drs or medicines. That in itself is another story. Just for instance I need to get to the dentist for two crowns to be done,,,simple right,,well being I went through a heart test a few months ago at the ER,,,this should be a walk in the park,,,but I even wake up in the morning before opening my eyes and panic about going to the dentist and I have not even made the appt yet. I am really a "what if" person,,,,perfectionist,,,and it is taking it's toll on me.
>
> Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated. It was such fun meeting another here in Vegas, and hopefully we can start a group here, knowing that there is not much help in this city is pretty sad when there are so many of us suffering.
>
> Hope everyone has a relaxing day,,,,
>
> Winged Hugs~
>
> Seagull
>
> <><
>