Scott, thanks for the encouragement.

In a matter of 3 weeks, we have 3 of the 5 major holidays. First is
Rosh Hashanah. this is the day, God created Man. It is the day that
He actually comes down to us. Much like a King that stays in the
castle all year except now the King rides through the towns and
fields to meet his subjects. It is also on this day that the book of
life is open. Over the next ten days, it is decided who will live
and who will die in the comming year. God takes a much closer look
at us. And we are too. this leads to the holiest of holy days.

Yom Kippur. The day of atonement. This is the day we fast for 25
hours (no food, water, etc.) We spend the day praying for
forgiveness for our numerout sins. Such as thinking that we are
screwups and why in the heck did He put me here. God has no faults,
it is us that fails to see our purpose or that we do not meet our own
expectations. We should not meet our expectations, we should be
striving to meet His. It is on this day that the Book of Life is
sealed and our fate for the year is decided. Again who will live and
who will die, how much money we will make etc.

Tomorrow night at Sundown is the festival of Succot. This is a 9 day
festival to commemorate the Exodous from Egypt. We build temporary
stuctures called Succah in which we 'live'. Actually, we only have
to have one meal in the Succah on the first night. But the more
things we can do in the Succah, the better. So, I spent the week
putting up this structure. With my son's help and my wife's negative
comments, it got done. No, we did not live in huts in the dessert,
but we were protected by God's cloud. This is one of the 3
pilgramages that God commands Jews to make to The Temple each year.
At the end of Succot, is the holiday of Simchas Torah. A simcha is a
celebration or a good event. Your birthday (anyone's for that
matter) is a simcha. And Torah is the first 5 books of the bible
(Old Testament to non-Jews. To Jews there is no Old as there is no
New. The New T is about the life and resurrection of the Messiah,
which, ask any Jewish person, has not come yet.) Anyway, I digress.
On Simchas Torah, we end reading the last portion of the Torah,
covering the death of Moses and right away begin the book of Genesis
with the creation of the world.

There is a lot of prep for these holidays. there is the spiritual,
mental, emotional, and physical. The is a lot of planning for the
different celebratory meals. Then there are all the meals out at
other people's houses. Compared to my sins, eating at other people's
houses would seem trivial. But this is one of my most anxious
times. So, I get caught between a rock and a hard place. do I do
all the cooking and attempt or follow the restrictions at home, or go
to other's houses for the meals. My family is less than supportive
about following the guidelines. My wife is of the thought that a
meal out is one less that we have to cook.

This morning I woke up with my fist anxiety/panic attack in over a
year. A level seven. I got out of bed and took Joe (our dog; he is
awesome) for a walk to walk away from the feelings. Funny, no matter
where i walked those feelings kept right up with me. It is like
stepping in dog poop and not being able to get it off. (I know i may
not be telling you anyting new here but...)

As it turned out, the walk did help, I was feeling better as the day
went on. I am doing by best to take these days one at a time. it is
too much to take them all at once (although with restrictions of not
being able to use electricity or cook on some days, planning ahead is
necessary). I try do my best to put myself in God's hands. I know
He is there reaching for me and offering His support, but i am so
blind at times and so lost that I miss.

Sorry this was so long. And I really hope I did not offend anyone by
speaking on the practices of my faith.

Have a great day!

By the way, I read the handout and the jokes are great, I got alot of
groans from the people I shared the jokes with.

Harley

--- In a-i-m@yahoogroups.com, scott <svetter@...> wrote:
>
> Greetings!
>
> Being on the HelpLine helps not only the caller but yourself as
well.
> It does take a bit of a thick skin to be on the Help Line.
>
> Do tell about the issues during the Jewish Holiday. Just that
for me
> understanding the different religions helps me understand others
better.
>
> It is pretty "wacked", but we all revel in the negative instead
of
> the positive. After all why do we watch the news, talk shows,
listen to
> police and fire calls on the scanner, listen to and pass on
gossip. The
> list goes on. Yes, we do need to stop the negatives and unhealthy
> cycles that suck us in. And we are going to be miserable about it.
It's
> an addiction and when you fight it you will not be happy about it.
But
> any recovery is going to involve pain and the more pain, the more
> apparent worth.
>
>
>
> hmsherm63 wrote:
> > Hi,
> >
> > I have been unable to attend the meetings.
> >
> > Things are going ok. I did sign up for taking calls at night
once a
> > month.
> >
> > I just want to say hello. I hope everyone is doing well. The
Jewish
> > High Holiday season in in full swing; these bring their own
issues
> > which I will skip for the time being.
> >
> > Things here are going ok. As with everyone else, there are the
days
> > and weeks that I feel I will never ever get out of the funk and
it
> > becomes such a vicious circle. But then there is this sick part
of me
> > that revels in the anger and hate that builds. It is this self-
> > punishing process that I find this sick satisfaction in.
Satisfaction
> > is not the right word; perhaps pleasure. Funny, part of me wants
to
> > stop the cycle from building, but the more i can be angry at
myself and
> > punish myself I get this rush of power. Now how whacked is that?
> >
> > Har
> >
> >
>