One of the things that bothers me the most, is having no positive
motivation to do anything. I know I have deadlines at work and
elsewhere in my life, but I don't get to the work until the last
minute at crunch time.

Everytime I do this, I freak out at the end and panic and rush to get
things done on time. I tell myself, I will be more proactive, but it
seems unless there is a negative sense of urgency, I am not getting
it done.

It is so bad, that I have billable work to do (money for me if I get
it done) but it is not getting done.

Despite knowing the potential outcomes and the insuing panic, I
continue in this viscious cycle all the time.

Right now, I should be writing a letter for a class, but I have yet
to start. I have good thoughts of what to say, but when it comes to
putting them to paper, the thoughts evade me and my paper is blank
(as well as my mind).

har