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Please forgive me, in my fibro fog I forgot I went into this message board and started in here, am I ever embarressed. but that is where my illness has left me at 55 y/s. I am married, have not been able to work in ten years, and just started getting my SSDI after a 8year fight with the SC board of disability judge. I had the Veterans Hospital, a government hospital and doctors writing letters and in my records saying I was unable to work, and even the vocational job ??? (soory cant always think of words I want to say) said it would be hard for me to find a job in our town, or even in SC, let alone USA with the way the economy was, that was 6 years ago, I had to fight up until last November to get approved. then they only paid me a year back pay. i did have an attorney, but that was the best I was gona get and I was desperate after all those years. At least now I can pay my house payments and not worry so much.
i have had fibro dx since 1991 or there abouts. and we are still finding things as I age it seems, more auto immune seems to be attacking me. and I am resenting it. I keep depression, and I only leave house to go to the doctor, and try very hard no to go to stores, etc. my son lives in the house, he is 26, and he and I are like water and oil. he is seperated from his wife, and he has the cutes son named after him, he looks just like he did, and is as devilish if not more so that he was. My oldest son is in the navy, he is 29, married and has a 9 month old son that I last saw at thanksgiving, they live up in NC around camp lejune, he is in the navy. he never calls, and the only pictures I have of the baby is ones I took when they came for thanksgiving. why? I keep asking God that all the time.
My cholostrol, (160 which anything under 200 is good so I am great!) ldl's 92 and hdls 49 I think that was way it was, my other blood values is great, except for my sodium which is low, and stays low, which maybe due to one of the 14 types of meds I take. my white bloood count was elevated too, but I think that is because of a slight kidney infection my body is fighting, will find out all on Monday or Tuesday. If I dont receive a call Monday, I will call tuesday, if cant find out anything then, I will just wait till my appt this coming Friday with my other doctor I have appt with.
I dont like dealing with people, because I dealt with people in all my business life, and in my personal life, I have helped so many people, and everytime I have I have gotten so hurt, and used, taken advantaged of, and well it is so I am scared of p;eople, dont trust people, and afraid of any relationship because of it. My health is so up and down that I can't plan on anything, (why I cant even substitute teach anymore 
so I am trying to do what AA and NA and Christians in Recovery (recovery of anything) take one breath, one hour, day, at a time, and start small, maybe one day I can hopefully get well again, and be pain free, both physical and mentally again
ms
Faith is . . . . . . taking God at His Word.
"Give Thanks for what you have, Trust God for what you need."
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