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Anny, Hi you know I keep thinking about your email and I realized there are many reasons I don't want to go to Manhattan. Actually when we go there I spend hours cleaning up my Dad in laws co op. This is a project I started a few years ago and health problems have caused me to take breaks from it.
I'm going to try to be as brief as possible and explain he lives in a 3 bedroom co op all his 4 kids moved out ages ago. His wife died over 10 years ago. The kids long before I ever married my husband or even knew him we supposed to help him get rid of his wife's things.
Well, the first time my husband took me up to his Dad's place in NYC I couldn't believe it. It is a wonderful co op but what a mess the 2 bedrooms were in. Also his living room is still filled with all 4 kids crap. Now my husband is 35 yrs old and he is the baby of the family. Just to give you an idea that they are not children.
Anyway, we were living in Pennsylvania and we use to get up early in the morning and go to his Dad's I would do some cleaning of what was my husband's bedroom that he had shared with his brother. We threw out tons of junk. It was fun cause around 2pm we would head to Dad's girlfriends place and then order Chinese food and have a nice family day.
Well, I became pregnant and had to stop that project because I was a high risk pregnancy and told to stay off my feet. Long story short I lost the baby anyway but that was not the reason why.
Then I got cancer of the thryoid so we didn't go to NYC cause I was having surgeries and radiation treatments. When I was better we continued our BI monthly visits to NYC but I didn't clean we just had dinner and stuff.
Anyway after a yr I was allowed to get pregant again and I did but that pregnancy ended in a still birth on Nov 5th 2000. I know it has been a few rough years here. The good news was my husband had been trying to get a transfer to NYC and he got it and we moved here last Feb.
Well, we were here 2 weeks and he had to leave for Georgia for training for 3 straight months. In the meantime I had to have some follow up tests on my thyroid cancer. My Dad in law was wonderful. I had tons on Dr. appts. These tests make me very sick and I even become bedridden for a week or more.
So after my strength built back up and my husband came back home I wanted to start that project at Dad co op again. We started going every other weekend to finish cleaning the one bedroom out and I also cleaned out the other bedroom. I told my husband the ride there and back was difficult for me and suggested we even stay overnight so I wouldn't feel so tired out and could get more work done. He didn't like that idea.
We would go out to lunch and I guess my main motivation was to thank my Dad in Law for all the hours he sat waiting for me while I had months of Drs. appointments.
But I have to admit the work has been difficult and well we even had to go through my Mother in laws things. No one has been cleaning any of this stuff out. They all were supposed to years ago but well it just didn't happen.
So I thought today maybe I'm just not really into doing this right now. It can be very emotional and physically draining. I know my Dad in law appreciates it and he doesn't expect it at all but sometime I just feel my weekends are spent up to my eyeballs in dirt that is 10 yrs old.
Now I'm not suggesting that dad lives like a slob his bedroom is very clean and aside from some clutter the kitchen is really clean. But the livingroom still has a lot of work i.e. the kids crap is all over the place.
They have notebooks from college I have found 8 tract tapes, ice skates, well just all kinds of crap. LOL
And the last few times we went I was working my butt of in the spare room and my husband was watching the ball game on T.V. This did not make me too happy to say the least. And well I had major panic attack on the way home.
This is rambling on and on but I guess my point is I want a break. I'm premenstrual today so that is not helping and I just don't feel like forcing myself to Manhattan to either sit or work my butt off.
Wow it felt good to just get that out.
I love doing this project that I choose to start but I also think I have the right to deiced how much time and when I'll devote time to it :)
I know my Dad in law appreciates it very much. He is a very quiet man but he is wonderful to me and that is actually why I do this at all cause he is so good to us.
Funny I placed all this pressure on myself to finish this project in a certain period of time and well Dad is just happy whatever I do. Guess I should just take my clues from him cause he is in no hurry so why should I pressure myself :)
Sorry this is so long just had to vent and get in touch with what might really be bothering me more than just the ride to Manhattan traffic lights and all.
Thanks for listening and giving me a different and I think more appropriate perspective on this. Mimi
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