Today I did alot of exposure:

I went in to the grocery store alone (my grandma was in the car outside)
and did some shopping. It got hard but I did not flee. And wouldn't you
know it, the woman in front of me had a product that would not scan so I had
to stand there is line forever while the cashier figured it out and called
for management. I was flipping but I handled it. I went in the drug store
alone and picked up my prescriptions, dropped off film, and exchanged a pack
of diapers.

One of my biggest challenges is walking alone. And especially walking alone
with my daughter. I walked from corner to corner for awhile. I was having
a very hard time but I kept it up anyway. And I even pushed out a little
further than usual today, just a little.

I also drove the car on side streets to get a feel of it. I have not felt
able to sit behind the wheel in about a year. I just drove the side streets
in my neighborhood for awhile.

I am caring for my baby alone at night with almost no fear and apprehension
at all. That is a big step. I no longer dread being alone all day because
I think I will get sick. I know that I will be fine.

I am not at the point where I am feeling comfort yet. These tasks were very
hard and full of symptoms, bad ones. But my self-talk has improved
tremendesly. I want to get well so bad. When will it get easier? When
will the bad symptoms let up. I am trying so hard and in so many ways. I
have to start somewhere. I hope I am truly on my way.

Love Christine
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