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Christine, Im so glad that progress is in the works! I havent had a chance as of late to offer any feedback but have kept on top of your situation and am extending a pat on the back as well!
Remember "Rome wasnt built in a day", or something like that..lol! Each step leads down a long road but the rewards are tremendous!
I have been on that trip around the block as you have just done and remember having the same thoughts as you, but yes, we did make it back and we lived to tell about it!!
I always liked to refer to "set backs" as "turbulance". That way, I still knew that I was moving forward but the ride just got a little bumpier!
Keep up the good work, I know it takes time but you are taking all the right actions that will bring you back to were you want to be.
Mary Thumm
----- Original Message -----From: Christine R.Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2000 11:21 PMSubject: [a-i-m] Not wanting to jump the gunNot wanting to jump the gun but I think I am calming down a little. I am
still having major panic attacks and anxiety but I am handling it better.
And the severity of the symptoms have decresed. I am on my third week of
zoloft so maybe it is starting to help. I think so. Plus I force myself to
practice some exposure daily. It is so hard. I go out walking up and down
from corner to corner. And sometimes I make it half way around the block.
I got real brave last night and went all the way around the block but got
really worked up in the middle. Thought I was going to die. But I didn't.
I made it home. Proves something, doesn't it. And today I was in the
pharmacy picking up my prescriptions. My dad waited in the car. I went in
alone. I shopped a bit too. I had some panic but did not flee. I am
working on my self-talk and writing daily affirmations. I went to the
church on the corner last Sunday even. And stayed for the parenting class
they offered after. I have been caring for my daughter good too. I get
anxious but work through it all. I have not spent the night alone with her
yet. My dad has been staying but it is on my goal for next week. I do
spend time alone with her for a couple hours a day. I hope to feel safe
doing it all night real soon while my fiance is at work.
I am still struggling big time with this. I know I will have ups and downs
and accept that. But I am noticing some improvement in myself as opposed to
last week. I hope I am not cursing myself for saying that. But I am
entitled to pat myself on the back for all my accomplishments and efforts so
far. I hope I go uphill from here. I sure as heck can't get much lower
than I have been.
Love Christine
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