Not wanting to jump the gun but I think I am calming down a little. I am
still having major panic attacks and anxiety but I am handling it better.
And the severity of the symptoms have decresed. I am on my third week of
zoloft so maybe it is starting to help. I think so. Plus I force myself to
practice some exposure daily. It is so hard. I go out walking up and down
from corner to corner. And sometimes I make it half way around the block.
I got real brave last night and went all the way around the block but got
really worked up in the middle. Thought I was going to die. But I didn't.
I made it home. Proves something, doesn't it. And today I was in the
pharmacy picking up my prescriptions. My dad waited in the car. I went in
alone. I shopped a bit too. I had some panic but did not flee. I am
working on my self-talk and writing daily affirmations. I went to the
church on the corner last Sunday even. And stayed for the parenting class
they offered after. I have been caring for my daughter good too. I get
anxious but work through it all. I have not spent the night alone with her
yet. My dad has been staying but it is on my goal for next week. I do
spend time alone with her for a couple hours a day. I hope to feel safe
doing it all night real soon while my fiance is at work.

I am still struggling big time with this. I know I will have ups and downs
and accept that. But I am noticing some improvement in myself as opposed to
last week. I hope I am not cursing myself for saying that. But I am
entitled to pat myself on the back for all my accomplishments and efforts so
far. I hope I go uphill from here. I sure as heck can't get much lower
than I have been.

Love Christine
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