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>Subject: Fw: FW:HUM: More Church Bulletin Bloopers
>Date: Mon, 3 Jul 2000 19:12:37 -0400
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> > ***************************
> > A little Humor for the day!
> >
> > More Church Bulletin Bloopers
> >
> > 1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to
> > be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
> >
> > 2. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
> > are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
> >
> > 3. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
> > would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
> > next Sabbath.
> >
> > 4. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
> > Please use the back door.
> >
> > 5. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir
> > will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
> >
> > 6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
> >
> > 7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
> > community.
> >
> > 8. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
> > Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to
> > attend this tragedy.
> >
> > 9. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
> >
> > 10. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of
> > David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.
> >
> > 11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
> > giving milk will please come early.
> >
> > 12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
> > Music will follow.
> >
> > 13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is
> > Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
> >
> > 14. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
> > Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
> >
> > 15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
> >
> > 16. Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are
> > preparing for the girth of their first child.
> >
> > 17. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed
> > potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for
> > a nominal feel.
> >
> > 18. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
> > slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
> >
> > 19. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
> >
> > 20. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
> >
> > 21. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
> > nursery downstairs.
> >
> > 22. This being Easter Sabbath, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
> > and lay an egg on the altar.
> >
> > 23. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the
> > ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will
>join
> > in.
> >
> > 24. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
> > several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
> >
> > 25. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation
> > who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
> >
> >
> >
>

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