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My dad died two years ago around this time. I always get a little blue and depressed on the anniversaries of the death of both my mother and father. My ma died very suddenly a little over 3 years ago. I miss them so much. Whenever I think of them, I think of all the love we shared but I also get a lot of guilt feelings that maybe I could have done more to make their lives easier while they were alive. Does any one else feel this way?
Also, I ran across a poem I wrote to my mom and dad back in 1990. I remember reading it to them and all three of us crying---tears of love....I would like to share it with you. It is a little long, so if you prefer not to read it that is fine.....I am very glad that I shared my thought with mom and dad before they died....
MEMORIES
THE MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION I OWN !!
Memories:
Hot summer days--sheets hanging on the line....
Going to Belle Isle with Dad--having fun---Coming home to a spotlessly clean house and Ma...
Good Feelings!
Dad sitting at the head of the table--reading the newspaper...
Heat blowing out of the register where I sat...
Fighting with Jimmy to lay near the living room register when we watched TV--was I really the smarter one?
Brushing Ma's hair--pulling out some of the gray ones---I wonder how many I gave her...
Boy, I loved her...still do!
Dad tucking me in at night---telling me the story of the busy ant building his ant hill one grain of sand at a time...
Dad blowing the fuzz out from between my toes...
Good feelings. Good love.
Childhood baths at Babcia's (gramma's) house on Ferry--warm water--empty bottles to play with...
Relaxation.
Pink candies in Babcia's china cabinet and ice tea in her fridge...
Vague visions of a cabin near a sandy beach in Pointe Pelee...I remember the sunglasses Mom and Dad got me..I liked them a lot!
Playing dress up--all those pretty gowns--where DID they come from? Staying up late on Friday nights to watch Shock Theatre--it was such an adventure to sleep in the living room...
Fun times.
Being scared of Mr. X who lived under our house---where DID that story ever start and WHERE is he living now????
My favorite neighbor--Mrs. Catherine--I always like her so much and still think about her nowadays...
Going to the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Dad and Jimmy, Betty and the rest of the gang--freezing our butts off and loving every minute of it...
Coming home to a nice warm house and a good dinner and MA...
Feelings of Togetherness...
Ford Rotunda..the beautiful dolls...
I remember Ma helping me find pictures from magazines to match all the letters of the alphabet...helping me write my school compositions...I enjoyed learning so much, especially with Ma's help...
I remember Ma washing dishes and Dad mischievously sneaking up behind her with a dish towel--a few twirls of the towel and a good flick of the wrist--you could hear the towel snap off ma's dupa--Ma scolding Dad with a smile on her face---I love them so!
Tender feelings.
Lilacs in the backyard--one on each side...
Making bouquets of tulips or roses for the wonderful Sisters that taught me at school...
Hot summer days---but still feeling cool while ironing in the living room--a gentle breeze blowing the fresh curtains on the open window...
Feelings of security.
Ice skating at Belle Isle and Callahan Park--I was never very good at it, but I sure enjoyed it...
Mom singing--"Have you seen my news shoes? They are made out of wood!"..Doing a little clog dance to it...
Happy memories...that's what memories should be...
Mom and Dad always loving each other --even in the worst of times--a kiss hello, a kiss goodbye...unspoken tenderness but always there..
Trips to Cleveland--Babcia Cleveland playing cards--Aunt Jennie's pork roast...
Sitting under the shade of our apple tree in the yard---reading and drinking Kool-Aid...
Frozen Lindies from Al's and Celie's candy store on Moran...
Auntie Esther coming over with a bag of chocolate chip cookies...the best I've ever had..
Mmmm..Mmmmm..the smell of breaded pork chops and American fries for picnics...the greatest taste and aroma in the world...
My favorite...vegetable spaghetti..I've tried so many time to make it, but it never tasted quite as good as Ma's--what is missing? Could it be that secret ingredient of--Ma's special loving touch????
The aroma of fish dinners that Dad would bring home---delicious! The good rye bread with a pat of butter, the perch, the fries and the cole slaw--all between two cardboard paper plates--I think I could start smelling them as soon as Dad pulled up in front of the house...
Satisfying feelings.
Being tucked in at night...Good night, sleep tight, God Bless you and remember I love you!
Leaving Babcia's and Dziadzia's house--Dobra noc, spi z Bogiem! (Good night, sleep with God)!
Loving feelings.
Picking up buckeyes by Mrs. Catherine's house--everyone competing to see who would get the most--what did we ever do with them afterwards?
Going for rides in the car on Sunday afternoons...
Such simple pleasures.
Dancing the polka with Ma...twirling around faster and faster...this feeling of happiness and joy combined with the lively beat of the music..seemed to be capable of erasing all the problems of the world even if for just a few minutes...
Football games and baseball games...I really never cared much for them...but it gave me a warm feeling to watch the mounting excitement felt between Dad and the guys...especially when it was Detroit vs. Cleveland....sometimes Dad would yelp so loud it would make the rest of us jump out of our seats.....
Poker games..now THIS I enjoyed...wish we could get together and play some more...Dad had a hard time keeping a poker face...that smile creeping up on the side of his mouth...I knew he had the winning hand...always giving the little kids a few bucks out of his winnings...
The patriotic feeling that Ma and Dad instilled in all of us...God Bless America, I'm proud to be an American!
Dad's stories..it always amazed me...what a storehouse of information Dad is...The way he always kids everyone..from young to old...sometimes you couldn't tell if he was serious or not. I love him so.
Standing next to Ma in Church--singing one of our favorite hymns together from the bottom of our hearts--I know I have a terrible voice, but at these times it really doesn't seem to matter. I know I am singing to God above...thanking him for everything...thanking him for all these beautiful memories that can NEVER be taken away....
God Bless Us All!!!
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Anyone who has taken the time to read my poem, please say a little prayer for my mom and dad, and for me too....I miss them sooo much! My little poem may make it sound like I had a perfect childhood and family. But believe me, there were a lot of really tought times. I have since dealt with them, accepted them and filed them away in the cylinder file....The memories above are the ones I choose to remember. Just one more polka with mom and one more game of poker with dad.....but I'm sure their both up in heaven dancing their feet off and playing cards....
Thank you for listening....
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