AA has but one message to carry to the alcoholic - of whatever variety
he or she me be - and that is recovery through a spiritual awakening
brought about by the process we have in the 12 Step Program of
recovery that is detailed in our basic text - The Big Book.

One only has to attend a few meetings to get the idea that there may
be more than one solution to our problem. But for the "real alcoholic"
there is no middle of the road solution. A few meetings and some
frothy emotional appeal will not suffice. Not drinking and attending
meetings does not comprise the AA Program of Action though many in our
fellowship believe it to be.

We need to be careful not to fall back into the idea that we can
work "our own program" - running the show ourselves we came to
shipwreck. But doing things the way the oldtimers have - by using the
directions (Big Book) we can expect all the benefits they have
received - a happy and contented life in sobriety.

Jim - Recovered!

I am late sending my daily check-in today because I had another
dentist appointment. The root canal is completely done, without any
pain at all! This morning they put in the temporary crown and cap
(or whatever it is they do that costs so much money, LOL). The whole
process of getting this dental work done has been awesome for me
because it's the first major thing in recovery I have done as fas as
taking care of my health is concerned. It has been nothing to drink
over ..  then again, NOTHING is "worth" drinking over today - unless
I want to lose myself and everything I have been given in my life
again since I got sober.

Today's Daily Reflection focuses on the word stability. I love
having order and sanity restored to my life, thanks to AA. Not
drinking to me means no more insanity and constant instability and
craziness. I am accountable for my actions and can pause my day at
any moment and be confident I am exactly where I am supposed to be -
maybe at work, at a meeting, doing something with my family .. but
it no longer needs to involve hiding or lying about the alcohol. My
life is stable because I do the next right thing, with God (a Higher
Power as I understand Him) always watching over me and providing me
direction.

Anyway, time to go thru some job-related email and with a cup of
coffee (imagine that)! Have a wonderful Wednesday...

Jonathan, Alcoholic from New Jersey

What is the AA message. do the four types of alcoholics our book
describes carry the same messge

I hope everyone had a sober, super weekend! I actually watched the
whole game last night even though I'm not a sports fan (I live in
NJ - so GO GIANTS, I guess). My wife and I got our daughter to bed
early and we enjoyed some quality time together by the TV with some
good snacks :) It still amazes me almost a year without a drink that
awesome, sober times such as this can still happen without the booze.

Although we do not have opinions on outside issues, I wanted to
briefly mention the Bud Light commercials because I thought their
slogan this year is on topic. "Keeps It Coming" - LOL .. you gotta
be kidding me! Does anyone else sense the subliminal
message .. "Keep Coming Back, It Works If You Work It"!?

Anyway, today's Daily Reflection talks about Faith and how it's no
longer "missing" once we find it in sobriety. I heard someone who
went to Catholic school for years share that they learned nothing
about God except to fear Him all those years. In his first 90 days
around AA, he has found a Faith - a Higher Power that he believes
in. I can identify with how he said that he no longer rejects faith
in his life - I was raised Jewish but that God (although I do
believe in Him) won't keep me sober. The open-mindedness of "as we
understand Him" has saved my life, Faith in something wonderful is
no longer missing!

Step Two for the newcomer - just believing that your Sponsor
believes is a good start! Once you believe, then you can start
thinking about Step Three - figuring out exactly what you believe in!

Have a great back-to-work Monday :)

Jonathan, Alcoholic from New Jersey

Good Morning Julie,

Things sound like they are progressing nicely. We had to be convinced.

Remember that sentence.. "Practically no one liked to admit." One of my favorite things in AA.. we tell our story.

As we tell our story a picture is drawn. You are telling your story.. grateful for no vomit.. scared to go to a bar.. and maybe just maybe.. considering taking care of yourself.. And how hard it was to not take a drink, one day at a time.. and how well you felt.. "victory" over pouring a bottle down a sink..

Maybe that is not the picture you see.. it is merely the picture you painted for me. See I see things differently.. I see me and I am an alcoholic. So you have to excuse my tainted glasses when I see your story.. I am very guilty of only seeing what I want to see. See.. what you see as a victory.. I see as a common problem.

Our (yours and mine) reaction to that gift bottle is also different, I would have said no thank you, and simply given it to a friend, that likes to drink.

That does not make me special Julie..or better than.. simply recovered, I no longer have to "fight a drink" there is no victory, the problem was removed. See I do not have a "problem" with alcohol today, not my problem.

Here is another picture.. the coming home party.. to celebrate.. You. a wonderful picture.. Love and Joy.. and happy people, happy to see you. ..Now.. like my wedding party .. my first marriage.. while people gathered to greet us .. and celebrate..from flying in from a drunken binge in Vegas.  I was tanked.. I missed it.. I did get to attend.. I know that..because someone told me I was there. I vaguely remember it.. I remember holding a champagne bottle.. okay next picture.. I remember holding a vodka bottle, of everything that happened that day.. those two mental pictures are all I have of that day. .. Things I don't remember.. who was there.. when it started..what I did or said to anyone,  or when it ended.. as in days after. I can't even remember the day I got married the first time.. I was in a blackout.. I know I went back to work.. but can't tell you that either. Life was some what of a blur..  it got worst.. not better. And the funny thing Julie,, it was all normal to me.

If that sounds "odd" or attractive.. or NO F'n  way!..or Total sense,  I understand that also.

The "experiment" of "just quitting" just putting it  down.. walking away from it never to think about it or want it.. is a good experiment.. we had to be convinced. Since I was not able to do that.."just put it down".. I had to have help. And the second worst feeling in the world to me.. was asking for help. Before that, the worst feeling was the very worst feeling, that I needed help.

Me, I had to be beaten in the doors to stay. And I hated that also. That I had a new self honesty..that I had been beaten by something .. I see others doing without penalty. I did not want that "new self honesty". that did not seem like a gift at the time, I saw it as a "doomed" life of no fun. Life without booze? not possible in my mind..so I tried to figure out as best I could to find one with it. Controlled drinking was my next best idea and experiment.

Keep painting those pictures for us.. telling your story.. we all get to watch the next.. image. Thank you for coming here and being so honest.

You are helping others by doing so. 

It may help also.. if you don't try a lot at one time.. if you smoke..I would sugguest not trying "to quit" them at the same time.. that is a lot of pressure.

Spiritus Contra Spiritum

Terry

Welcome to February, the 2nd month of the year, meaning lots of
focus on Step 2! When I first started coming around I knew I was
powerless - step one was easily recognized after career loss, a stay
in the psych ward at Bellevue Hospital, and a trip to long-term
rehab .. ultimately thru the doors of AA and into a wonderful life
of sobriety and recovery. Step 2 scared me right away because I
never held a strong belief in God, although I was raised Jewish.

My Sponsor quickly explained to me that a Higher Power is a God, as
I understand Him, and that it didn't necessarily have to have
anything to do with my Jewish background, if that God wasn't going
to keep me sober. I worked with my Sponsor to "create" a God of my
own understanding that I could rely on that I would be comfortable
with turning my life over to. I was cool with this concept - a
simple belief that there was something greater than me that would
ultimately help restore me to sanity. The second step is the belief
that, not necessarily the understanding of, what this Higher Power
would become.

Today's Daily Reflection speaks about my GOAL: SANITY. I needed to
come to believe that there was something greater than myself that
would restore me to the sanity that I had lost because of my
drinking and insane way of living. My Sponsor was very clear, again,
that Step Two is a BELIEF, not necessarily a recognition or full
understanding, of what my new God would become once we worked to
create and identify Him.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a nice weekend. My family and I will
just be around the house doing household stuff - cleaning out the
bedroom closet, going food shopping, enjoying time with each other,
etc. Whatever is on your agenda - ENJOY IT!

Jonathan, Alcoholic from New Jersey

I went for renewal of my school bus drivers licence and one of the
medical questions pertained to any diseases which might have some
relevance on holding a licence .I told 'em the truth ,and added ,but I
havent  had  a drink since 1985 ,which was well before any of the kids
who would be under my care  were born or even thought of . I still put
something like that in every time it comes up for renewal (every 12
months) .Not one comment has arisen from such brutal honesty.Heh he.

Frank
On 01/02/2008, at 8:03 AM, Chris Cherrie wrote:

> Jonathan-
> 10 years ago I applied for a job with a security department at an
> upscale community,During the interview, i was told there would be a
> back ground check,and i told him that there were things in my past im
> not proud of, but that i was responsible and accountable for them. i
> also told him that (at the time) i had 4 years of active membership 
> in AA.
> he went before the judge and vouched for me-i was sworn in as a
> conservator of the peace, and im still there 10 years later!
> would the same have happened with your friend?we'll never know, but i
> DO know that rigourous honesty is required,even if it means not being
> chosen.
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From:  Julie Quintero
>> To: We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com
>> Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2008 12:40 AM
>> Subject: Re: [We_Have_Recovered] Check-In .. Wednesday 1/30
>>
>>
>> Jonathan,
>>  
>> It isn't your fault that he wasn't honest on his application you.  It
>> isn't your fault that the company turned him down.  even if the guy
>> was honest he might not have gotten the job.  you still don't have to
>> tell anyone that he was a friend from the rooms of AA.  if he is your
>> friend he will have to understand that you were doing your job and he
>> is the one that lied.  from what i have been reading here with  all
>> of you from the group i have learned that being honest with yourself
>> is very important.  he obviously has not learned that and is trying
>> to lie to himself and cover what has happened.
>>  
>> Ihave decided that being sober is better for me.  i will keep reading
>> and learning from all of you.
>>  
>> Julie
>>  
>> JUMPIN JULIE
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message ----
>> From: Jonathan Kaplan <WooDYFM@...>
>> To: We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com
>> Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2008 8:04:00 AM
>> Subject: [We_Have_Recovered] Check-In .. Wednesday 1/30
>>
>>
>> I want to write about anonymity this morning because there is a
>> situation I need some feedback on and how exactly you suggest I
>> handle this. The other day I got someone from "the rooms" a job (I
>> am recruiter / head-hunter here in NJ). I told him the company
>> requires a background check (knowing his record is not perfectly
>> clear) and that they go back 7 years. He told me he had a DWI and a
>> weapons possession charge 11 years ago, which he did, and that was
>> all. He neglected to tell me that he also had another DWI and an
>> aggravated assault charge about 5 years ago. Therefore, the company
>> is revoking his job offer. The manager on the account asked
>> me "where do you find these people"? I simply said I came across the
>> resume (he is highly skilled and qualified for the position) and
>> that this is an unfortunate situation. Of course, I did not blow his
>> anonymity about being a friend from the rooms of AA. I successfully
>> protected both his anonymity and mine. However, I still need to call
>> this guy and tell him the job offer is no longer valid. How do I
>> approach this?? I want to maintain our relationship, but his lack of
>> honesty is troubling to me.
>>
>> I appreciate all the feedback you folks offer me every day. Some of
>> the emails are extremely positive and motivational, while others are
>> somewhat harsh and sometimes make me feel attacked which puts me
>> into a defensive mode. I also get lots of email (both to the lists
>> and private) with honest, sincere, and helpful suggestions that I do
>> try to follow. I am not here to "toot my own horn" or to journal /
>> blog just about me. By sharing my everyday life experiences, I hope
>> to further my sobriety and encourage some good chatter on these
>> lists that someone else may also be able to identify with. It IS a
>> WE program - by sharing ourselves we can acquire a more solid
>> recovery.
>>
>> Anyway, time for a cup of coffee and to go thru some other email.
>> Again, I appreciate everyone's feedback everyday and I try to
>> respond to as many replies as possible each day.
>>
>> Jonathan, Alcoholic from New Jersey
>>
>>
>>
>
>

I agree fully with both of you Terry & Clifton. My first TRUE
sponsors clearly defined their role in the process, and "it doesn't
include patting you on the head; plying you with coffee & cookies;
and telling you that everything will work out OK over time!" These
men showed me what to look for in future AA mentors, and as a result
I have a trusted circle of men & women who I can pick up the phone
and call when I feel the need.

In recent months, a serious recurrence of my other deadly disease
(Cancer) has dominated my time and focus. There is no way I could
responsibly tsckle the ardous, prolonged, ongoing treatment protocols
if I wasn't 100% Recovered from my disease of Alcoholism. With first
hand experience comparing the 2 disease & recovery processes, I can
guarantee that the 12 Steps from our Text hands down represent the
superior method.

                                                        DEAN


--- In We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com, "terry walton"
<twalton@...> wrote:
>
>
> Clifton,
>
>
>
> I got your back LOL.. you keep doing what you are doing Clifton.. no
> candy coat is needed.. no sweet talk ..the truth stands all by
itself.
>
> the men that showed me AA loved me enough to tell me the truth. that
> took guts.
>
> they did  not "promote"  AA to me they were not on a membership
drive.
> they saw a sick man, and knew they had a solution.
>
> they did not want what I had and told me exactly that, they all
knew how
> to be liar and cheat and drunk. I had nothing they wanted.
>
> they had a real solution, one that I was beaten to accept.
>
> you have  what those men had and  I see it in you like I saw it in
them,
> a way out. they offered a solution for me to get well. not stay
sick and
> the sooner I got it, the better I was going to be. not some arrogant
> "when the student is ready crap". hell I was never ready. I was
dying.
>
>
>
> spiritus contra spiritum
>
>
>
> terry
> --- In We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com, "Clifton R. Damiens"
> <clifton_damiens@> wrote:
> >
> > Terry,
> > Thank you for your support. I care more about an alcoholic's life
than
> I care about their feelings. Yet, at the same time, I do not wish to
> offend anyone. Besides, "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone-
even
> alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned." (Page 84)
> >
> > Clifton
> >
> >
> >
>
______________________________________________________________________
__\
> ____________
> > Be a better friend, newshound, and
> > know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
> http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
> >
>

----- Original Message -----

From: Julie Quintero

To: We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2008 12:40 AM

Subject: Re: [We_Have_Recovered] Check-In .. Wednesday 1/30

Jonathan,

 

It isn't your fault that he wasn't honest on his application you.  It isn't your fault that the company turned him down.  even if the guy was honest he might not have gotten the job.  you still don't have to tell anyone that he was a friend from the rooms of AA.  if he is your friend he will have to understand that you were doing your job and he is the one that lied.  from what i have been reading here with  all of you from the group i have learned that being honest with yourself is very important.  he obviously has not learned that and is trying to lie to himself and cover what has happened.

 

Ihave decided that being sober is better for me.  i will keep reading and learning from all of you.

 

Julie
 

JUMPIN JULIE

----- Original Message ----
From: Jonathan Kaplan <WooDYFM@aol.com>
To: We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 30, 2008 8:04:00 AM
Subject: [We_Have_Recovered] Check-In .. Wednesday 1/30

I want to write about anonymity this morning because there is a
situation I need some feedback on and how exactly you suggest I
handle this. The other day I got someone from "the rooms" a job (I
am recruiter / head-hunter here in NJ). I told him the company
requires a background check (knowing his record is not perfectly
clear) and that they go back 7 years. He told me he had a DWI and a
weapons possession charge 11 years ago, which he did, and that was
all. He neglected to tell me that he also had another DWI and an
aggravated assault charge about 5 years ago. Therefore, the company
is revoking his job offer. The manager on the account asked
me "where do you find these people"? I simply said I came across the
resume (he is highly skilled and qualified for the position) and
that this is an unfortunate situation. Of course, I did not blow his
anonymity about being a friend from the rooms of AA. I successfully
protected both his anonymity and mine. However, I still need to call
this guy and tell him the job offer is no longer valid. How do I
approach this?? I want to maintain our relationship, but his lack of
honesty is troubling to me.

I appreciate all the feedback you folks offer me every day. Some of
the emails are extremely positive and motivational, while others are
somewhat harsh and sometimes make me feel attacked which puts me
into a defensive mode. I also get lots of email (both to the lists
and private) with honest, sincere, and helpful suggestions that I do
try to follow. I am not here to "toot my own horn" or to journal /
blog just about me. By sharing my everyday life experiences, I hope
to further my sobriety and encourage some good chatter on these
lists that someone else may also be able to identify with. It IS a
WE program - by sharing ourselves we can acquire a more solid
recovery.

Anyway, time for a cup of coffee and to go thru some other email.
Again, I appreciate everyone's feedback everyday and I try to
respond to as many replies as possible each day.

Jonathan, Alcoholic from New Jersey

Thank you all for the wonderful feedback yesterday in helping me
overcome a potentially challenging situation at work. What first
started as a topic of anonymity became honesty and then working my
OWN program. Your insightful thoughts made a difficult job scenario
much easier to manage. I think I sent about 150 replies to emails
yesterday to my different groups and privately in regards to this ..
WOWZER! It is a great example of the benefit these email groups
offer a recovering alcoholic. If you are new or coming back and have
stuff you need help with (ANYTHING related to recovery and acquiring
solid sobriety) - openly and honestly share here - there are awesome
people on these sober email lists that WANT to help! We learn by
sharing our experience, strength, and hope. In one form or another,
we have all been there!

Anyway, today's Daily Reflection is about Tradition 1: "Our Common
Welfare Comes First".
The reading says: "Our Traditions are key elements in the ego
deflation process necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety in
Alcoholics Anonymous. The First Tradition reminds me not to take
credit, or authority, for my recovery."

Perfect follow-up to yesterday's long email threads. Left to my own
devices, I'm sure the professional manner in which I handled the
situation would have been much more confrontational, since that was
my initial reaction. Instead, I paused and prayed and asked for
help. I cannot take credit for the smooth outcome- I did exactly
what was suggested by my Sponsor and the other recovering alcoholics
I exchange thoughts and emails with on a daily basis. My initial
reaction was to play "Bigshot" because I was angry and somewhat
insulted that he lied to me (gave a half-truth)... I was going to
let my ego drive the conversation - that didn't happen. I told him
matter-of-factly and with rigorous honesty what the company decided
based on policy, and he was understanding. Nobody drank over it, and
today is a new day....



Today's Daily Reflection also says: "It helps me to remember that
the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts."

ANALOGY TIME:
**We're all on a sinking ship with holes in it letting water pour
in. If we each take a finger and plug a hole - we will stay afloat.

**Picture a huge table in the middle of the room. Alone I cannot
lift it, but with the help of other AA members, the load gets
lighter and the table can be moved.

**We all have lit candles. Sometimes my flame gets dim, so I need
someone to relight it for me. Other days, that person may need a re-
light. I can be there for them.

It's a WE program. TOGETHER sobriety is possible .. alone, well,
good luck!  THANKS AGAIN

Jonathan, Alcoholic from New Jersey

Clifton,



I got your back LOL.. you keep doing what you are doing Clifton.. no
candy coat is needed.. no sweet talk ..the truth stands all by itself.

the men that showed me AA loved me enough to tell me the truth. that
took guts.

they did  not "promote"  AA to me they were not on a membership drive.
they saw a sick man, and knew they had a solution.

they did not want what I had and told me exactly that, they all knew how
to be liar and cheat and drunk. I had nothing they wanted.

they had a real solution, one that I was beaten to accept.

you have  what those men had and  I see it in you like I saw it in them,
a way out. they offered a solution for me to get well. not stay sick and
the sooner I got it, the better I was going to be. not some arrogant
"when the student is ready crap". hell I was never ready. I was dying.



spiritus contra spiritum



terry
--- In We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com, "Clifton R. Damiens"
<clifton_damiens@...> wrote:
>
> Terry,
> Thank you for your support. I care more about an alcoholic's life than
I care about their feelings. Yet, at the same time, I do not wish to
offend anyone. Besides, "We have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even
alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned." (Page 84)
>
> Clifton
>
>
>
________________________________________________________________________\
____________
> Be a better friend, newshound, and
> know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
>

I want to write about anonymity this morning because there is a
situation I need some feedback on and how exactly you suggest I
handle this. The other day I got someone from "the rooms" a job (I
am recruiter / head-hunter here in NJ). I told him the company
requires a background check (knowing his record is not perfectly
clear) and that they go back 7 years. He told me he had a DWI and a
weapons possession charge 11 years ago, which he did, and that was
all. He neglected to tell me that he also had another DWI and an
aggravated assault charge about 5 years ago. Therefore, the company
is revoking his job offer. The manager on the account asked
me "where do you find these people"? I simply said I came across the
resume (he is highly skilled and qualified for the position) and
that this is an unfortunate situation. Of course, I did not blow his
anonymity about being a friend from the rooms of AA. I successfully
protected both his anonymity and mine. However, I still need to call
this guy and tell him the job offer is no longer valid. How do I
approach this?? I want to maintain our relationship, but his lack of
honesty is troubling to me.

I appreciate all the feedback you folks offer me every day. Some of
the emails are extremely positive and motivational, while others are
somewhat harsh and sometimes make me feel attacked which puts me
into a defensive mode. I also get lots of email (both to the lists
and private) with honest, sincere, and helpful suggestions that I do
try to follow. I am not here to "toot my own horn" or to journal /
blog just about me. By sharing my everyday life experiences, I hope
to further my sobriety and encourage some good chatter on these
lists that someone else may also be able to identify with. It IS a
WE program - by sharing ourselves we can acquire a more solid
recovery.

Anyway, time for a cup of coffee and to go thru some other email.
Again, I appreciate everyone's feedback everyday and I try to
respond to as many replies as possible each day.

Jonathan, Alcoholic from New Jersey