Des,

I've had similar instances with Step 8 and 9.   The key is willingness.  Willingness to accept that that we did harm ( even if we don't remember it )  and having done that ...being willing to make the amend. 

I thought that I was thorough in my list.  But, now and then a mental door that had been shut suddenly opens and its amends time again.  Its not that I intentionally omitted it when I first did my 8th Step list. Like you I didn't remember.   I look at it as God opening the door and saying... "OK you are strong enough now to look at what you have done and make the necessary amend. " 

 

Joz

 

 

 

Des Green <puggreen2008@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:

Hi Folks ,

 

I have begun making amends , 3 serious ones so far . In my case step 4 nor step 8 was a done deal . I was informed of something I had done in drink that I have no recollection of at all , not even to this day , but it went straight on my amend list , belatedly.

 

I have shared it on here before , some time before I came to AA my sister had a miscarriage followed by a serious operation which resulted in her never being able to have children , during all of this trauma I showed up , was soon ejected and banished. My brother in law was speaking to me about it and I was clueless , still can't recall it.

 

I wander what else awaits me ?

 

Best wishes  Des

 

"Paul S." <soberfinn@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hi Jim and all (Hmm? Where is all?)

An interesting point.
However "it says" that we made the list in step 4.
But offcource, perhaps it was incomplete.
Anyway the help from step 7 can/may be important
on order to achieve the willingness in step 8.

So the list in step 4 is not a done deal.
Step 8 is a real and important step

And offcource I never put myself on that list.
The grace of God (of my understanding) has
given me more than I expected.

Just my 5 cents (the extra 3 for my bad english)

All the best

Paul S. aka soberfinn
Recovered from a seemingly.....yoy know

--- In We_Have_Recovered@yahoogroups.com, "Jim K." <jknyc@...> wrote:
>
> A family friend named Jack Brennan got sober in 1942 in the early
days
> of AA. He died in 1987 but I had the good fortune of knowing him in
my
> early days of sobriety. He used to group these three steps- 7, 8 &
9
> together. It seemed weird to me - I thought that 4 & 5, 6 & 7, 8 &
9
> went together in pairs.
>
> He explained to me that Step 7 was preparing me for the next step.
The
> humility I needed to write an 8th Step list with a dose of reality
> would come as a result of Step 7. And he was right - not for a
moment
> did I consider putting myself on that list - never mind at the top
as
> I hear shared in the rooms of AA today. If selfishness, self
> centeredness was the root of my problem thinking I belong on that
list
> surely means I missed the whole point of Step 3 - never mind the
steps
> that followed.
>
> Jim - Recovered!
>

---

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