I am often very judgmental, which is one of my character defects.
(OK, OK, I can hear some of you now… "No SHIT!!" * sigh * C'mon!
Gimme a break! Hear me out!)

Anyway… I'm not just judgmental of others. I'm mostly judgmental of
myself, which translates into self-focused, self-critical, self-
centered fear.

I think this character defect manifests itself mostly in my
relationship with God – I'm never good enough. I fail miserably time
and time again. It also manifests itself in my marriage and in other
relationships as well. Some of you MIGHT have even seen this
character defect of mine rear its ugly head here on these AA boards.

I know it's not my job to remove my own character defects. It's God's
job. I'm supposed to LET HIM and COOPERATE. And I really do
understand the truth that I can't make myself perfect. Nor can I
demand the same from others.

But there's more to it. We're supposed to use "sound judgment." It's
wise to be discerning. I am responsible for making judgment calls
about what I do and who I spend my time with, right? We have to judge
the actions of others without judging their eternal destiny, correct?

But "using good judgment" and being "judgmental" are two different
things? There's a line there that I cross that I can't seem to see
clearly. It must have something to do with assigning "right"
and "wrong" values, but the line for me is very blurry.

I would love to be the kind of person who didn't pass judgment on
myself or on others, while at the same time using good judgment to
make wise decisions in life. If I was that kind of person, I could
be more relaxed and happier in my relationship with God and with my
fellows. I could experience more serenity. I could be a more
effective friend, wife, co-worker, and sponsor.

I'm not sure what I expect to hear from others here in this group on
this topic. Maybe I'm just using this board as a safe place to write.
But if anyone has anything to share, I'm all ears…. I mean eyes.

Thanks,
Karen