Bradley;
As a survivor, a recovering drug addict post-tbi and a mother
whose 3 sons were taken away from her for those problems, let me
just say to you, your nephew is so so so lucky to have a caring
family. a tbisurvivor especially needs a support system, because
love and care are not just WORDS to us.Those are our means for
survival and without support we can not survive:(
As for drugs, its really sad your nephew was not told about how
tbi survivors not CAN but WILL have an addictive personality- we can
easily be addicted to ANYTHING- to people, sex, cigarettes, food,
and yes even drugs and alcohol, but not just addicted- recovery for
us is much more dificult because of the damage to our brain -
speaking in layman terms cuz I am not a medical professional-we
become so strong dependant on those things and our own brain can
betray us due to damage- it will make us to feel soo strongly that
we really will die without those things. recovery is a painful
situation fo tbi survivors, emotionally and physically.
Please do not leave your nephew now!!! Obviously he is admitting
he has a problem, and as the old adage goes, 'admitting is the first
step toward recovery' He will need the support of friends nd family
members, now, more than any other time of his life! He is in the
process of a batte inside of his own brain. Imagine if your entire
life was dependant upon making 1 single correct decision, and your
life you have mde all the WRONG decisions. now it is up to you to
change your life and make a choice which you know will have very
difficult results but the choice is the only logical choice to make-
wihout that you can lose everything- even yourself.no, think of this
way. you want your finger to move just one time, but as you look at
your hand, your own brain betrays you and you can not move that
finger. Do you give up or just keep tying to move your finger?lol
Unless you know tbi or drug addiction first hand you can not
imagine how it feels when your own brain- your CPU- turns against
you- its as if you are becoming your own worst enemy, and believe
me, with tbi and drug addictions, you just dont need even 1 more
enemy :(
I'm sorry I can only offer advice as a surivor of both drugs
and tramatic brain injury. I have no miracle answers. I cried when I
read your post- I cried or your nephew, for his child and for
myself, the self I lost years go. That girl is gone forever, but now
I have - after many years of strugles- I have become strong,
independant and I did everything with NO support. My family did not
support me and was not there with e for even 1 minute after my
accident. If I can do it, your nephew can too. and wth your family's
encouragement and care, he can leap mountains:)
It's a real shame that with technology as advanced as it is and
with as many doctors as there are these days, no one can grasp the
knowledge of how to cure brain damage.
so my advice and suggestions are these:
1. learn as much as you possibly can about tbi. don't lean that from
doctors (lol) learn that on your own! research that... learn about
his specific injury. After you know in detail about his injury, you
can further learn his needs.
2. support him- not necessarily in a fiancial way- but more than
anything he will need emotional understanding.
3. as for his child, just offer as muh care as you can and help him,
before that child will become lost in the system and just another
statistic.
4. He wants help, that will no doubt change. Get him help as soon as
possible- contact a neuropsychologist and ask if they can suggest
and rehab where there is knowledge of tbi addictions as well.
because just a psychiatrist in a drug rehab program will not be
enough- they will simply say they can not help:( A neurphsychologist
can help you to find a rehab which the doctor on staff will
understand tbi addictions best. Or maybe your nephew just needs to
be in a traumatic brain injury rehab hospital because surely the
addiction has affected or expanded his current tbi.
5. He will have many days of physical pain. He will cry and hurt and
feel he is dying. Just remind him that pain wll pass and becme
easier. its gonna take him a lil time. but he has a beautiul life
waiting for him after tha pain.
6. just remember his brain was damaged badly (I assume from an ohi
it was very bad)tbi does not ever heal 100%- it is for life! there
is no cure - the only cure is prevention.He has surived for 10 years
from a gunshot to his head!!! that is amazng! he is a miracle! be
proud of him because it takes a strong persn to fight to live-
anyone can just lay down and give up easily. The real miracle is in
the fght. He did it once, he can do it again. but if he will fail,
he can be dead so easily. drug addictions are no simple thing to a
survivor of tbi, the choices we make can make or break us,
literally. And yet, decision making is very very difficult for us.
The pain he will feel from drug wthdrawls will mild compared to the
pain which comes from losing a child:(
It is my prayer for your family, that you will be connected to the
right organizations and professionals who can save the life of your
nephew and restore his family. and also, I hope and pray there will
be a surivor out there somewhere who can offer you advice and direct
you to the proper resources. I apologize for such a long post, but
your story just affected me , personally, and I really felt I needed
to at the very least offer a few words of encouragement to you, I
will keep you and your family in my prayers and thoughts.
Peace, Health and Happiness;
Mara
author,CEO multidi.com, SURVIVOR

--- In Traumatic_Brain_Injury@yahoogroups.com, "ransom34698"
<springb29@h...> wrote:
>
> Hello,
>
> I am hoping someone out there is listening and can help with
> suggestions and ideas.
>
> My nephew is a TBI survivor. He suffered a point blank gunshot
wound
> to the head with a .45
>
> Now, ten years later, he has become severely addicted to crack. He
is
> married and has a 1yr old child. His wife had to take the baby
with
> her and leave because my nephew's addiction and behavior has
gotten
> out of control, he uses daily and has been abusive and violent at
> home.
>
> He went to the e.r. to try to get help, but they just gave him
some
> fluids and sent him home. So he checked into the rehab program at
the
> VA, but left yesterday when they told him they couldn't help him
with
> his psychological and emotional problems from the shooting, and
drug
> rehab for someone w/ TBI.
>
> Please, if anyone has any experience, ideas or suggestions of
where
> he can find treatment, could you e-mail me. I'm worried that if he
> doesn't get into a good specialized treatment program he may harm
> himself or someone else.
>
> here Are my e-mail addresses: springb29@h... and
> ransom34698@y..., with im on both.
>
> Thank you
> BBradley
>