Hello Darlene;
thank you for joining our group.
About your son-in-law and the agressive behavior he has to the
children, first, I want to tell you a little bit about my life with
TBI. I am nearly duriving with TBI for a decade. 5 years ago, I was
diagnosed with epilepsy. This is common thing with ANY head injury
survivor. And it was expected, in my situation.Before the epilepsy
dianosis: I became very angry and had all out 'rage' with my
children and my family, inevitably, my children were removed from my
care, and my family could not bear anymore. I didn't understand any
of this. I was in a persistant state of confusion, and, naturally,
forgetfullness. I, too, only had hopes of making it to the couch
daily and smoking far too much. I began threateing to kill people-
my husband or mother. It was as i I was there physically, but
verbally and mentally, I was under control of something. Honestly, I
was scared I was possessed.(said with slight humor hahha)
Now my comments:
As for your son-in-laws' 'mean-ness' to his children, please
remember he is still ,literally, 'new' to his new lifestyle as a TBI
survivor. He is adjusting, like you and your daughter have to. Only,
you have full brain capacity- he will have poor coping skills,
irritability, a highly addictive behavior(cigarettes) and sometimes
he may even have 'outburts of rage'... this is all common symptoms
of every TBI survivor, however, no 2 brain injuries are alike.
I suggest you talk with his neurologist about this behavior,
possibly he will need, if he has not been already, tested for
epilepsy. If not epilepsy, he made require neuropsychotherapy or
mood adjusting medications. I am not a dctor, I can only recommend
as a surivor who has been through all of this already. There are
medications which are very helpful. Forpartitial and stoic seizures,
which are also marketed for mood adjustment... Best thing really,
just consult with his neurologist. His neurologist should be made
aware of ANY changes in mood and/r behavior anyway. As for the
children, of course, important is their safety. You already know to
not leave them unsupervised with thier father. Please undertand, for
the sake of the children AND thier father, he does NOT intentionally
do these things. His behavior may or may not become better with
time.each brain injury as different, so a predictable outcome is not
a guarentee.
I wish I had better advice to offer you. I symphathize with your
situation and your son-in-laws' position, too.
Best of health and happiness to you and your family;
Ameena