COPING WITH NEGATIVITY


You only have to pickup a newspaper to realise that the world is in a horrendous
state. It is easy to become negative. If I want to become negative I can find
1001 reasons to be so. If I allow all these factors to influence me, then yes,
it is as if 1000 guns were pointed at my head, so I feel extremely negative.
Another factor is the people I am surrounded by; it is very easy to become
influenced by their negativity. I may be influenced by people that I work with
and sometimes it is their negativity attacking me. Then it becomes difficult to
maintain my balance, lightness and happiness because of their negative reactions
and responses to everything or it could be my negative response towards them. I
might not like the way they talk to me or look at me, so there is a gradual
build-up of feelings of being pressured from all directions. So how do I escape?
Even if I were to escape there will be another deep realisation - that the
problem is not actually the world outside or the people I am with. If I spend a
few moments in honest reflection, I realise that whatever is going on inside of
me is the root of my negativity. This probably won't bring joy or lightness and
may even cause feelings of depression or heaviness because it means I have
realised that the negativity is coming from inside. How do I cope with it? First
of all, I can try to understand it and by understanding and realising it, I have
gone a long way towards being able to put it right.
I understand that the period of history that civilisation is passing through
now is a particularly dark one. But it cannot last forever. The condition of the
world is horrific but it will change. After the darkness the light will come;
night has to turn into day. This will happen with the passage of time; I cannot
force the day to come, I cannot force the pace of it, so I learn to be a
detached observer. I can be part of the movements that will bring the day and
not allow things to affect my own inner state of consciousness. This requires a
bit of experimentation. I can draw on analogy here; an actor plays a role on
stage and is totally involved in all that is going on. Someone in the audience
is aware of everything on the stage also but has a different state of
consciousness. I have to learn to be both in this game of life - I have to be an
actor and an observer. I have to be able to step aside and look at things from a
distance. This will bring faith and confidence in
the fact that the darkness of night will pass and the light of day will come.
What about the negativity of other people? I know that if I am affected by the
negativity of other people, then I am going to be plunged into the cycle of
actions, reactions and responses over which I have no control. But if I see
them, hear them, respect them as human beings and individuals and I understand
their point of view, I will not let myself to be moved from my position of inner
stability. If I can make sure that I remain my own master, their negativity will
flow over me and above me and not influence me. I can ask myself what it is that
I want and then move in the direction to reach that goal. I can develop the art
of detachment, being friends and yet not allowing them to touch me. I can draw
an another analogy here. Think of the image of a lotus flower. It is found in
dirty, stagnant water, yet the lotus has a waxy substance on its petals and
nothing can touch the surface; the dirt just rolls off. I can create that layer
of protection, so that my inner purity
and stability remain unaffected by outside influences. Only in this way can I
be true to myself. Otherwise I become a puppet of circumstances and situations
that others have created and am no longer a master of my own feelings and
destiny. I learn to have this protection through the experience of detachment
and the awareness of God and this will bring a canopy of blessings influencing
myself and others around me.
Is there a human being creating a shadow over you? Sometimes I find myself in
a situation whereby I am reacting against someone and then it becomes more and
more difficult and irritating to manage that individual. I am creating a huge
burden for myself which will make it more difficult to live with myself, as well
as the individual. If I want to create an environment of peace and love around
me, my response of negativity towards anyone becomes extremely uncomfortable for
me.
I must try not to allow this build-up of negativity to happen; if it has
happened already, let me analyze the whole process and I will see that it is a
subtle form of ego because I think that the way I think, the things I do and my
understanding is all correct and the other person is wrong. So I am constantly
criticising - this will mean a build-up of this negativity. Appreciate that it
has come from my own ego and learn humility and respect, recognise the value of
the individual and acknowledge the goodness in them.
Everyone has enormous value. I just have to have the right vision to be able
to see it. When I start appreciating their value, I will realise the negativity
is my own. Yes, they do things in a different way from me but there has to be
variety, so let me appreciate that. I cannot change them or control them; what I
can do is change my attitude and my responses. If I continue to have the vision
of love and respect for them, I know that through this there is a very good
possibility that I can influence them and help them in their change process. If
I react against them, I will not be able to influence them in the future because
my reactions will have set up a barrier between us, thereby making communication
very difficult. If I change my attitude in a genuine way - not from diplomacy or
artificial courtesy; but by seeing their eternal, original divine state, then
with genuine respect, a good level of communication will arise, and perhaps, at
the right time, we can talk about
things and a change can take place. But I must not allow this build-up of
negativity to destroy communication with them; otherwise walls will have been
built up which will be difficult to sort out later on.
Perhaps the most difficult thing for me to come to terms with is the
negativity I feel about myself. I see my weaknesses; I see the difficulties I
have created; I see the emotional debts I have accumulated and I wonder how it
is ever going to be possible to deal with all of this. If I lose hope, things
will become difficult. Therefore, I do not allow the cycle of negativity to come
into being, I do not lose hope for myself or negative thoughts will pull me
further and further down. As soon as I see that there is the possibility of this
negative cycle beginning, I make sure that I cut it at that point because cycles
are powerful; one weak thought after and it will get me entrapped. If I cannot
stop it before it begins, it ties me into a knot. Firstly I must see the cause
and what needs to be done, and look at the future, so I can prevent things from
happening; then I take precautions so that it will not happen again. When I
recognise myself as an eternal soul, I alter my
vision of myself completely. I come back to the realisation of my own original
form and feel the divine being that I truly am, and hope returns.
Coming into the awareness of this experience of my own immortality - of 'I'
the soul - I am able to change my vision completely. I know that in this
awareness of being a child of God, I have within myself the capacity for purity,
peace and love. If I allow these qualities to emerge and spend a few minutes in
silence each day, just letting my mind become detached from all the other things
that it's usually caught up in, then I can value who I truly am. As this stage
grows, the influence of this lasts longer each day. As I develop this awareness
of self respect and self esteem and I move outside the cycle of negativity that
has pulled me down, I make sure my vision, words and actions show this esteem.
It is expressed in value and respect for others and from them, I get the same
response back.
Whilst I lacked esteem, I sought support and confirmation from the outside
world and usually if I am seeking something, it is denied. Only in the state
where I am generating my own self respect within, can I earn respect from
others. This is the way I can change my own negative image about myself. When I
learn to remove negativity, I am drawn by the beauty that positivity can bring
and, because I develop a liking for this, I learn to accept positivity and
reject negativity. I therefore have a greater impact on the atmosphere around me
and the people I am with.
Even one individual who comes into this awareness of making things positive,
of learning to deal with things in a positive way, makes a great difference. The
heaviness of the world has come about because of the accumulation of all our
negative thoughts and actions and the only way we can transform and replace it
is through the power of positivity. This enables us to bring about change,
firstly in our environment, workplace, family and home which will inevitably
reach out and change society. In the state of hopelessness and lack of courage,
the forces of darkness grow heavier and stronger.
If I become aware that I am a child of God, a being of light, an instrument of
light and I let the light of awareness, wisdom and truth change me, then I can
be an instrument to bring light into the world around me. In the state of
negativity, there is a great deal of fear and ignorance. If I can understand
this, then the fear is reduced and gradually eliminated and there is greater
understanding of the reasons for a negative state of the world and of my karmic
connections with other individuals. By understanding all these things, light has
entered the picture, darkness is removed and I know what to do and how to do it.
I have to bring light into the world and in this way darkness will not be able
to influence me and I will be able to help remove the darkness of others.
Be Blessed.


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