Ah, I love seeing someone's wheels spin into motion about social anxiety. Good
question and comments, Peter.

Personally, I've never been all that afraid of conversation, but that having
been said, it's always easier for me to talk to a computer screen about the most
difficult matters. Maybe this is easier for you too? I can't actually see the
person who might be judging me, and that must be a key. I'll have to explore
that some more. I think some people talk (or even talk for what we deem is "too
much") BECAUSE they're anxious. Talking "too much" can be a way of saying "I'm
not nervous, see look at me! Yap yap yap yap yap..." Sometimes I think I do that
instead, and you'd be surprised how many people seem to.

Peter, at what age do you think you first had social anxiety? Can you remember
(one of) the earliest situation(s) that made you feel judged, stupid, out of
place, slow, silly, anxious, etc.? (...keeping in mind that you are not most of
those things at all. Anxious maybe...but we're okay with that!) And how old were
you at the time? If you don't mind telling us.

I wonder if we will ever discover on a physical level that anxiety is rooted in
some basis for survival, in much the same way as physical pain. Think about
this. If you put your hand on a hot stove (and please don't!), you would receive
quite a jolt of pain. But messages are carried through your body's nerves both
to and from your brain instantly to prevent FURTHER pain and a more serious
burn. Pain has a function. Anxiety must have one too. We are social creatures to
varying extents, so the role of anxiety, at its most basic, might be to attain
(or retain) social standing. But individuals with anxiety disorders, for one
reason or another, have overdeveloped sensitivities, and we're learning how to
turn the knob down on them.

Sincerely,
Sean.

Peter <pluk@...> wrote:
I have noticed an apparent paradox or it seems so to me.

It seems a lot of us are talkative even though we all
have social anxiety. I wonder why. I'm relatively new to the group, so
I don't know if its a lot of people have advanced a fair bit in
overcomng social anxiety or I have a particularly bad case of social
anxiety/phobia.

For people like me, I find it really difficult to initiate
small talk. So, it's a trial for me sometimes during our
Sunday meetings.

Maybe we could brainstorm ways to get more nervous people like me to
speak up more!

The paradox is that what our anxiety tells us is just plain wrong, we
can't run from our social fears, but face and deal with them...

I find our group meetings to be an exposure in itself, which is a
very,very good thing because it provides an safe and supportive
environment in which to escape our social shells.

I would appreciate anyone else's thoughts or questions.






---------------------------------
Make free worldwide PC-to-PC calls. Try the new Yahoo! Canada Messenger with
Voice

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]