Hey guys. I need a favour. I hope that you think that I help all of you to the
best of my ability. Today I need proof that more people than Rama read these
online messages. It's 5:30am as I write this, and I'm not a "morning person", so
that should tell you something.

It is with sadness that I admit that I'm not sure that our group has what I'm
looking for. I haven't made any decisions yet, but I'm considering not attending
the meetings anymore. For about six months now, I've been telling the group
about my social anxiety interfering with my call to activism as it pertains to
circumcision. And I can understand nobody wanting to address the problem as I
present it, but if this continues, I won't be able to stay.

I don't want to turn the group into something it's not. The group functions very
well as it is, and you don't have to march in any parades with me in order to
help. The function of the group is to address different kinds of social anxiety,
not just the matters that surround sexuality and notions of abuse that are
brought up almost every time I speak. I understand that I've chosen a "taboo"
topic that may very well give many of you increased levels of anxiety, but
taboos are ridiculous and only result in a lack of education. I'm not sure what
to believe when I share my stories with all of you. I don't even know if you're
indifferent to what I'm saying: I just see more anxiety, and I hate to think I
cause some of it. The only insight that I have to deal with my problem of being
shy when following my ethics and need to instill social change is that I'm an
expressive person, and I don't see how that helps me move forward with my goals.

I have always chosen careers that drain my emotional energy (classical music,
and now activism), without feeling able to re-stock it. Without sounding
egotistical, I'm ahead of my time, and I know it. I'm not able to parlay this
latest interest into a paycheque. Government lobbyists do not get paid to
educate about the dangers and horrors of circumcision, and I need to do what I
love.

Thank you for always making me feel welcome in the group, even if you don't
always know what to say . . . So do you have anything to say? . . . I expect
I'll be there next week . . . and I'll write the weekly report later today.

Sincerely,
Sean.


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