I have a question about my upcoming appointment consultation with an
endocrinologist.
I was told this summer that the results of my needle biopsy (of a thyroid
nodule) were "benign". Then I was told by my primary care
doctor that it was "benign, but at the upper boundaries between benign and
indeterminate". This week the paperwork (for me to take
to the endocrinologist) arrived, and my primary care doctor had written that the
result was "nondiagnostic".
I am not a doctor, but the biopsy results that came from the needle biopsy
mentioned some cells and when I looked them up on the web
it seemed to indicate that these cells were the kind that were always found in
routine benign nodules but that there were "sparse cells".
what really irritates me is that I was not told this in July when the biopsy
results came in. Then I heared "benign" and moved on in my mind
to the next medical issue: which was some upper GI symptoms i was worrying about
that my ENT thought could be GERD.
So when m primary care doctor called back in September and saide I had to have a
RAIU, I was not prepared for this suggestion and did not understand
why she was recommending this: had I understood the true situation I would have
been more flexible: but I did have the tests done that she recommended.
Also when she said indetermiate I thought that it meant borderline between
benign and malignant: what it really meant was borderline between being
able to definitely prove it was benign, and not being sure.

It is my feeling that in this case it would be highly unlikely that the next
step would be for the endocrinologist ot insist that I have my
thyroid removed. I think that she will most likely recommend that I repeat the
fine needle aspiration biopsy. I think that this would be a wise
choice. If the test comes back definitely benign, then I guess they will go to
checking this out every six months? Along with my quarterly
check on my eyes due tor normal tension glaucoma, my six month check on my eyes
due to some retinal issues I can just add this to the list.
Puting this into perspective: this is nothing: my life partner was diagnosed
with breast cancer in 2005, and each year she has to have full body
scan to make sure it has not come back: so I can live with all of these checks

However if she insists that I should have my thyroid out: even though this is a
risk, I am still going to ask that I get this done in May or June: the reason
is:
I am visiting my mom in March, and going on a peace walk in April that I do each
year that keeps me grounded and restored so I can be there for
myself and others the rest of the year (I have?a job with a lot of very intense
stress, and a very tense boss, so I really need this time for myself one
week a year): due to my broken ankle last year I did not see my mother at all in
2008: at her age one never knows if this might have been the last
time: so I feel that emotionally I really need to see her.

If the next step is a repeated needle biopsy: and the results come back
cancerous: of course I will cancel both my trips: as that way I will survive
to be able to go on other peace walks starting 2010, and could see my mother
later in the year whenever I recovered from treatment.
Just as if tomorrow I got urgent news about my Mom I would drop my other trip
plans and immediately fly tthere to see her.

But with results that soudn benign, I am just reluctant to do such a drastic
step.?

I guess it was just hard to suddenly in September find out I had to still worry
about this (from February when they found
the nodules until May when they did the biopsy I didn't know: because of my
partner's situation I tend toi worry a lot
about cancer, and because my normal tension glaucoma from my perspective seemed
to happen suddenly (although in actuality
it happened gradually: I just didn't notice), I tend to get on edge about bad
news happening suddenly.

Laurie


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]