--- pureoneofgod@... wrote:

I wanted so much to be in the online study,and yet
somehow, lines got crossed and it started and left me
feeling abandoned. I have not picked up my book in
weeks, I have been eating out of control, not having
any shame in what I've done until after the fact.


Kathy..I would be honored to go through this study
with you. You may have missed the group, but many of
us would love to work through with you privately.
Don't let timing get you down...God always opens
another door for you!



In fact, last night, I thought about taking a handful
of pills. I have enough different ones that I could
end it all, but one haunting thought stopped me from
carrying this out, what if?


Kathy, many of us have felt like that. I wanted to not
so very long ago...my problem was I did not have
enough of anything in the house that would do any
thing...which was a good problem after all. I did not
want my family to find me that way.



Am I hungry? not for food. Am I doing anything about
it? just writing this. I've not picked up my bible,
not prayed, not talked to God, just feel lousy. Like
scum in the bottom of the tub. No one really cares,
why shoudl I?


How can you say no one cares? Look at the name you
use...pure one of God...you are, you know. Pure and
one of His. God cared enough to give His only Son for
you. Sometimes...all too often for me... I allow my
"stinkin' thinkin'" (which is from the pit of hell) to
take control of my mind. I listen to the devil...why?
He is a LIAR! But what he has to say about me fits
with how I feel about me. I suspect you are doing much
of the same.

You weigh 400 pounds...but that is NOT who you are.
You have let your hairdo go awry...but that is NOT who
you are. YOU ARE KATHY, THE PURE ONE OF GOD!!!!




I am feeling very insecure, unloved, uncared for,
rejected, all that wonderful crap from such a lovely
childhood and life. Why would God care about me?


Why would God care about you? Because He created you
and you are His precious child...for all eternity! I
wish I could fix your breaking, achy heart and spirit,
but I cannot. God can. You said you have not turned to
His Word yet, please do. He wants to tell you tonight
how much He loves you. In Proverbs, He says He is
"enthralled with your beauty"...pretty good, huh? He
sings for joy and He dances over you. You are the
apple of His eye. Just start basking in His presence
and then tell Him how you feel...He already knows and
He wants to hold you and apply the balm of Gilead to
your wounded spirit.


You are not isolated...maybe in the physical, but you
have friends here that love you very much. You have
contributed much to the discussions...at least for me.
You are right, we are not mind readers, but now we
know where you are and now we can pray for you,
encourage you, lift you up and support you. That is
what Sisters in Christ do.

E Mail me privately anytime at:
maryearl@... or at
m_lookabill@... or at
mooneyes_71@... check all three at least
twice a day unless I am out of town and even then I
try to find a computer somewhere!

Love you!

Mary L.


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Find a job, post your resume.
http://careers.yahoo.com