I don't have that big a problem with this. Or maybe I
just don't recognize it as such.

Anyway - If the person is offering help with a door,
for example, I thank them. I can usually handle doors,
but help is definitely easier. If I don't need or
desire help I've found a simple "No thanks" is usually
sufficient.
--- matlot669s <matlot669s@...> wrote:

> --- In Spinalcordinjury@yahoogroups.com,
> <candle850-keeper@...> wrote:
> >
> > This list has been so quiet. I hope that everyone
> is enjoying the
> holidays.
> >
> > I have a question, have you dealt with people
> who thought they
> were helping, but they really weren't? I was walking
> into McDonald's
> the other day. It was raining and slippery and my
> husband was holding
> my arm and helping me in. A crew worker saw me and
> decide to help us.
> She came out and started pulling my arm. I started
> resisting because
> I was worried about falling so she pulled harder.
> Thank goodness my
> husband was holding me up.
> >
> > Another incident was at an all you can eat
> buffet. It was an
> exercise where I had to show my husband that I could
> get my own plate
> and make it back to our table. This was relatively
> soon after getting
> out of the hospital. A woman came up and offered to
> help and I said,
> no thank you and that I was fine. I almost got into
> a tug of war with
> my plate. I had to explain to her the whole thing
> about the doctor
> wanting me to do this as an exercise as my husband
> kept an eye on me
> close by to prove that I could do it.
> >
> > I know that both of these people were trying to
> help out of the
> goodness of their heart, but they really weren't. I
> can laugh about
> both of those situations now, but originally they
> didn't seem so
> funny. I should have said something to the woman who
> was trying to
> help me over the ice, but wasn't sure how to tell
> her that she was
> not really being helpful. I was also worried about
> sounding panicked,
> which I was. Of course, I would have been more
> panicked if I had
> fallen and broken something.
> >
> >
> > --
> >
> > Candle
> >
> > May there always be a light to guide you.
>
> Your stories are so true. I suffered a fall on
> July 1st resulting
> in a spinal cord injury that has left me being
> probably confined to a
> wheelchair for the rest of my life. This has been a
> great shock to me
> at 48 years old and a very physically active Father
> of 3. Anyway, my
> story is to do with transferring into and out of my
> wifes car. Being
> newly disabled my goal is to achieve as much as
> possible on my own,
> yet every time I transfer it seems that someone
> appears and
> desperately wants to "help". At first this would
> appear to be
> extremely kind but, after a while I realized that it
> was quite
> annoying and sometimes downright dangerous. My
> problem is finding a
> way to politely decline the good samaritans offer of
> kindness without
> appearing to be ungrateful or rude? Anyway Happy
> Holidays to all and
> may we all reach a happy conclusion to our
> "temporary inconvenience"
> >
>
>
>


Tom Dreyer



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