Re: [Spatula_Ministries] Partners Staying the Night
I think if my chid had sex in my bed, that would really upset me. And to do it after they were told NO COMPANY is even worse. Your son is old enough to understand and obey the rules. And his "friend" had to have known he wasnt suppossed to be there also. So you now have trust issues from both kids. Seems like thier trying to prove something. Trying to see how much they can get away with. Doesnt matter if their gay or straight. It was wrong and a great show of disrespect.
What they do under their own roof, is their business. But what they do under YOUR roof is theirs. They both in my opinion, have shown a great disrespect to you.
Personally, I would allow no more company. They need to earn your trust back and show respect. What your other son & his girlfriend did has no bearing on this. Did they cause you mistrust of their relationship? Do they still have your respect? I have allowed unmarried couples in my home for the night- but NOT in the same room. Because I dont beleive in that!
I am sure this is all agonizing for you. But will your son love and respect you more for allowing him to get away with his wants, or more because you wont comprimise your beliefs?
You are going to have to make a choice that is comfortable for you. No one can tell you what to do because what might be right for me, may be wrong for you. This is all just food for thought.
I have comprimised my beliefs and expectations in the past when it comes to my kids and their partners etc. I wont do it anymore. If my child chooses to abandon us because we dont allow certin things, then so be it.
I know this sounds hard & cold, but to tell you the truth, it took YEARS to get to this point.
Take Care and I know you'll do whats right for you. I am sorry you are going thru this.
Tracee'
"Look back and thank God. Look forward and trust God. Look around and serve God. Look within and find God!"
--- On Tue, 7/7/09, bearsforsc <bearsforsc@...> wrote:
From: bearsforsc <bearsforsc@...> Subject: [Spatula_Ministries] Partners Staying the Night To: Spatula_Ministries@yahoogroups.com Date: Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 8:30 PM
We've had an interesting few weeks. Our son moved back home for the summer. A couple weeks ago, my husband and I went away for our 25th anniversary and left him to house sit and take care of the dogs. We specifically told him "no guests." We came home to find evidence of a party, along with a condom wrapper next to our bed! Needless to say, it upset us very much that he would have sex in our bed. We have since found out that he had his boyfriend stay in our home while we were away and then lied about it. He is now asking for his friend to come and stay for a few days. We will be here and have told him he is free to come visit and even for dinner, but not to stay overnight. We are being accused of having a double-standard, since his oldest brother's girlfriend stayed in our home a few months ago -- on separate floors. It may be a double-standard, but we don't agree with his lifestyle and cannot stand the thought of having him stay overnight,
especially since we know they previously had sex in our bed. Has anyone else had to deal with this question?
We've had an interesting few weeks. Our son moved back home for the summer. A couple weeks ago, my husband and I went away for our 25th anniversary and left...
It might just be me, but I think if my child had sex in my bed, that would really upset me. And to do it after he was told "NO COMPANY" is even worse. Your son...
I think if my chid had sex in my bed, that would really upset me. And to do it after they were told NO COMPANY is even worse. Your son is old enough to...
It really doesn't sound hard and cold to me -- I am in the process of going through therapy and trying to get to the point of setting boundaries and sticking...
I agree with Tracee. My son told me about six years ago, that he was gay. But I told him after the total shock, that there would be no affection in my sight. ...
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Hi, Yes He will, He is so faithful! He understands, and we all understand. Yes, only through God's grace, can we make it through these kinds of choices our...
hi, i'm so sorry you've had these unfortunate experiences with your son ... life isn't supposed to be this way, huh? ... god intended for children to bring us...
hi, i'm so sorry you've had these unfortunate experiences with your son ... life isn't supposed to be this way, huh? ... god intended for children to bring us...
How very painful, and what an awkward position to put you in! I think like Larry said in such an eloquent and insightful way, your son is young and foolish,...
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