--- In SocialFitnessForum@y..., "cannon_fan" <cannon_fan@y...> wrote:
> Hi, my name is Patrick. I have social problems in many areas,
> especially in making friends and dating. I do have a current
social
> problem and was wondering if anyone has advice for me. I haven't
> really had any girlfriends (or dated in general) and am somewhat
> embarrassed about this, since I am 22 (even though this
embarrassment
> is probably my anxiety showing). Anyways, at my current job
there's
> a girl I would like to at least talk to (and possibly go on a date
> with sometime), but I am 'inexperienced' in this area and have
> trouble talking to people I don't know (especially someone I am
> attracted to). Another dilemma is I have been working at my job
and
> noticed her for more than a year (I work in a big store with a lot
of
> people, and we work near each other, although not in the same area
> where contact is necessary). Every time I see her I can't even
make
> eye contact with her, much less acknowledge her when passing her,
> etc. After such a long time, how can I 'break the ice' and just
> start speaking to her (won't she think 'Why did he finally say
> something?'). Will this look weird if this 'guy' that has never
even
> acknowledged her just start talking to her, etc? Any advice is
> greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Don't know how useful my advice is since I have a decade on you and
am in pretty much the same boat, but here goes.

I'd suggest trying to find a totally neutral reason to strike up a
conversation with her. Don't approach her as if you are trying to
approach HER- just approach her as another worker. The few times I
managed to strike up minor friendships with co-workers it was usually
begun by talking about work- asking them a question about how to do
something, griping about something unfair that just happened,
gossiping about another co-worker. Just find a good excuse to say
anything to her job related and see where it goes from there.

And you can use the work excuse to keep[ from being embarassed. If
you think she is uncomfortable around you then tie up the
conversation and let that be the end of it. But (as I think is more
likely) she simply answers your question then play it by ear. Use
work related stuff to strike up more conversations over time and
slowly but surrely shop talk will segue into other areas as you relax
and she becomes comfortable with you as a person. And just see where
that goes.

Hope that helps. I know it sounds easier than it probably is, but
you either take the small steps or accept that you are going to stay
where you are.