What I want is to go into any social situation with a positive mental attitude regardless of what happens and, in the event that I am for some reason not in a positive mental attitude, I will over-compensate a bit (act like I'm confident for instance) until I regain a positive mental attitude. It seems that this always works, regardless of what situation I'm going into, because those who reject me will reject me no matter who I am and my attitude doesn't have to have anything to do with them.
I had joked with him about picturing girls with penises. I haven't used this in so long I was not sure i could reply to this address. Women are just men with an xtra hole.
In seriousness. Women are human.
I don't think you have fear of rejection, but are overcompensating your social attitude to try to minimize rejection. Basically, overthinking the perfect thing to say to create a friendship. Friends are not friends because they said the right things to each other. They are friends because they can say the wrong things and are confident about it, as well as sharing a few things in common.
On Thu, May 28, 2009 at 10:46 PM, Sam Rau <sam.rau@wmich.edu> wrote: > > > I want to thank you for writing in here. Not only have we not had any > social activity on here lately (c'mon, guys) but we also have someone taking > a very proactive step towards change. I always appreciate it when someone > brings stuff like this up because it lets us know that someone else is going > what we've either been through or are still going through. Of course we'll > share our advice with you! > > Perhaps you could tell us a bit more about your difficulty? I've often had > difficulty in social situations and with women, however I find that my > difficulty with women is sort of different from that when in other > situations. Could you describe a typical scene that happens, and perhaps > talk a bit about what you say to yourself, feelings, mental pictures etc. > When we do this it helps us get clearer about what makes us uncomfortable > and helps us to paint a better picture of what we want to happen rather than > just letting things happen and see what turns up. Also can you speak a bit > about what you expect to happen? Often times when I'm expecting something > bad to happen I have certain feelings that let me know that this for sure > aint turning out the way I want it to without even knowing it, and then when > things do turn out awesome I'm still concerned with my expectation that it > wouldn't and... > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: emaildjamel > To: SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com > Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2009 9:39 PM > Subject: [SocialFitnessForum] am,i shy? > > hi, i have a big deficulty to talk to the girls it makes me really upset so > please if you have any solution for me i really need it > thank you > >
I want to thank you for writing in here. Not only have we not had any social activity on here lately (c'mon, guys) but we also have someone taking a very...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
May 29, 2009 2:46 am
I had joked with him about picturing girls with penises. I haven't used this in so long I was not sure i could reply to this address. Women are just men with...
What I want is to go into any social situation with a positive mental attitude regardless of what happens and, in the event that I am for some reason not in a...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
Jun 8, 2009 7:34 pm
... Check out http://www.doctorpaul.net/ I've been following him for a long time, and I've been really impressed with the depth of his knowledge....
You too? Wow! I also highly recommend Dr Paul's stuff, but my experience is that it is best for analytical people (engineers, scientists, nerds, etc). If...
In the women and dating circles, you're probably right. He would tend to attract the intellectual types. I used to think his whole thing about by teaching...
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