There is a wonderful book about this, if you want to get into the thinking of shy people and how to work with your own style rather than trying to pretend to be an extrovert. It's called "Shyness: A Bold New Approach" by Bernardo Carducci (in paperback, available on Amazon.com). He addresses a lot of the things you mentioned like how to work with your slowness to warm up to new situations and how to make small talk more comfortably and effectively. There is also information on his web site (www.carducci.com).
Annette
----- Original Message -----From: songseeressSent: Tuesday, June 18, 2002 8:55 PMSubject: [SocialFitnessForum] Re: New member - seeking adviceHey, thanks a lot for posting. :)
I'll take a look at that website and see what happens. Just getting
sick and tired of beating off IM's from "friends" who want much more
than that! But, I'm not going to give up!
Believe it or not, I am a member of a gym (it's about the only thing
that's open late enough for me to go to with my nutty work
schedule), but even though I'm surrounded by lots of people, I'm
still working out solo. I feel like that in a *lot* of situations,
especially in social gatherings like parties. I can't find the nerve
to just walk up to someone I don't know and start talking. Everyone
around me seems so busy, I feel like I'm butting in where I'm not
wanted.
As you may have guessed from all my writing though, once I warm up
and feel comfortable, I think I can be a good talker as well as
listener.
...I wonder if someone has wrote a good book on this subject? :)
--- In SocialFitnessForum@y..., "Ian" <ian@m...> wrote:
> Hello!
>
> I know what you mean about the dating sites, but most of them help
you find
> friends as well. One of the best known is www.friendfinder.com.
Common
> advice for meeting people is to join a gym. In the past I have
found this
> does
> not work, but now I think it does if you taking a regular class at
the gym.
> They are quite social and are better than exercise for one. Some
gyms now
> offer social activities as well. Perhaps you can also take a
leisure course
> at
> your local college.
>
> I hope these ideas help.
> Good luck!
>
> Ian
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