Thanks for your help.

I completely agree with the "map is not the territory" idea.

In fact, I'll go so far as to say the Earth DOES NOT revolve around the Sun.
It makes no sense to say one particular frame of reference is the "correct"
one.

One could easily claim that the Sun and Earth make complex paths in the sky
above Jupiter, and that Jupiter stays in one place. Of course the equations
describing the orbits work well when they are written with the Sun as the frame
of reference, but a more complicated set of equations, or more likely a
non-closed-form simulation, should be written to describe the motions of the
Sun and Earth from the frame of reference of a person standing on Jupiter. In
fact, exactly such a set of equations would be used by a spacecraft on Jupiter
that was aiming its antenna towards earth.

I have a little more trouble with your idea that we should adopt resourceful
beliefs. Where does the role of evidence come in? For instance, it would be
great to believe that my hand would not be burnt when moving hot pots on a
stove. Then I could cook more easily and not have to use potholders. I would
have a hard time adopting this belief, however. My mental model of the world
is that if I touch a hot piece of metal I will be burned. Just knowing that
the map is not the territory is not sufficient. Evidence tells me my map is
correct.

Back to social anxiety, I do know that if I go to a party and try to act
outgoing I will experience humiliation. It's cause and effect. Repeated
experiences with this provide evidence for the belief (map) that it will happen
next time, too. If people appear to love me at the party, that might chip away
at the map I have that says everybody will reject me. But only a little bit.
The most consistent interpretation of their outward signs of acceptance is that
they are exagerating their acceptance of me, and that they true feelings toward
me are not so great.

I believe my map can be changed by lots of exposure to little situations,
chipping away at it bit by bit. But it sounds like you think there is a better
way. Do you think you can adopt a new map just by choice? If so, could you
adopt the belief that hot pots will not burn your skin?

--Bob