Awareness is defiantly a great start i find I get stuck in a rut
sometimes where i just don't feel up to trying to improve. But at the
moment I'm back on the horse I even have a date lined up this week. My
problems at the moment is a have a real fear of inadequacy. Even when I
think im doing okay at making small talk etc I'm still quiet and i
always kind of go home feeling i really should have done a better job.
All this really erodes your self confidence and then i struggle with
negative thinking.

I really wish it was just one thing i could fix but its a bunch of
different things that really require constant work IMO.

Cheers
Glen

On Sun, 01 Jul 2007 19:33:06 -0400, "Sam Rau" <sam.rau@...> said:
> Since we've been talking of awareness lately, I'd like to pose an
> exercize for everyone here. I think that once we become aware of what's
> stopping us from our success, in whatever area that may be, we can most
> often cause this thing which we imagine to be a problem to dissapear from
> our lives; perhaps you might even realize that your problem really isn't
> something which needs fixing anyway. I often gain greater incites into
> my own situation by talking it over--or in this case writing--with
> others, both because this helps me to get clear about what's going on
> from my standpoint and because it helps (sometimes quite a bit) to hear
> it from others. I assume that most people are signed up with this group
> because they want to work on their social life, or lack thereof (just
> kidding of course). Tthe premmice here is that there is a problem, and
> that perhaps this group will help in solving it once and for all; never
> mind that this is all conceptual (your concept of what's "real") and your
> conception of having a problem is causing you to have it... But for the
> sake of argument, let's play the game.
>
> If you could generalize your problem with social situations to just one
> thing, the thing which if eliminated from your life would cause this
> whole thing to go away and stop bothering you, what would it be? This
> can be something that other people do, like their too hard to talk to or
> something, or it could even be something you do, like getting tense and
> faultering around authority figures for example. It could possibly be
> something you have, such as a genetic disposition towards being awkward,
> but I don't think so. If we can observe what we're doing inside, and how
> we're doing it, we no longer produce outcomes which we don't want.
> However as long as we're unaware of how we create these experiences, we
> will continue to do all of the disfunctional things which result in our
> current situation... I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, as usual... But
> anyway, enough of that. The main goal here is to see what the main
> problem seems to be here, and perhaps gain a greater understanding of
> what's really going on here. If everything's going great for you and
> you're creating all results you want, then feel free not to respond; I
> would wonder why such people are part of a group which aims at increasing
> your social skills... I think that most of us will be surprised to find
> out just how much we have in common--within the group as well as without.
>
> Well, I've gotten the ball roling, so now all I can do is just sit back
> and watch what happens. Don't dissapoint me. :-)
--
Glen
pringle31@...

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