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What's your biggest problem?   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #640 of 799 |
Since we've been talking of awareness lately, I'd like to pose an exercize for everyone here.  I think that once we become aware of what's stopping us from our success, in whatever area that may be, we can most often cause this thing which we imagine to be a problem to dissapear from our lives; perhaps you might even realize that your problem really isn't something which needs fixing anyway.  I often gain greater incites into my own situation by talking it over--or in this case writing--with others, both because this helps me to get clear about what's going on from my standpoint and because it helps (sometimes quite a bit) to hear it from others.  I assume that most people are signed up with this group because they want to work on their social life, or lack thereof (just kidding of course).  Tthe premmice here is that there is a problem, and that perhaps this group will help in solving it once and for all; never mind that this is all conceptual (your concept of what's "real") and your conception of having a problem is causing you to have it...  But for the sake of argument, let's play the game.
 
If you could generalize your problem with social situations to just one thing, the thing which if eliminated from your life would cause this whole thing to go away and stop bothering you, what would it be?  This can be something that other people do, like their too hard to talk to or something, or it could even be something you do, like getting tense and faultering around authority figures for example.  It could possibly be something you have, such as a genetic disposition towards being awkward, but I don't think so.  If we can observe what we're doing inside, and how we're doing it, we no longer produce outcomes which we don't want.  However as long as we're unaware of how we create these experiences, we will continue to do all of the disfunctional things which result in our current situation...  I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, as usual...  But anyway, enough of that.  The main goal here is to see what the main problem seems to be here, and perhaps gain a greater understanding of what's really going on here.  If everything's going great for you and you're creating all results you want, then feel free not to respond; I would wonder why such people are part of a group which aims at increasing your social skills...  I think that most of us will be surprised to find out just how much we have in common--within the group as well as without.
 
Well, I've gotten the ball roling, so now all I can do is just sit back and watch what happens.  Don't dissapoint me. :-)


Sun Jul 1, 2007 11:33 pm

sam.rau@...
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Message #640 of 799 |
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Since we've been talking of awareness lately, I'd like to pose an exercize for everyone here. I think that once we become aware of what's stopping us from our...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
Send Email
Jul 1, 2007
11:32 pm

Mine is the fear of humiliation, of being put down, of being rejected, and of not fitting in. When looked at logically, my fears are much greater than the ...
Bob Mayo
boxkjjkljklj
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Jul 2, 2007
12:03 am

Hmmm, interesting to try to define it. My problem is definitely with larger social gatherings. A general failure to connect with people. I easily perceive...
foxx
audaz1us
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Jul 2, 2007
12:56 am

Awareness is defiantly a great start i find I get stuck in a rut sometimes where i just don't feel up to trying to improve. But at the moment I'm back on the...
Glen
glenz31
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Jul 2, 2007
1:40 am

since you asked, I have a published book I need to promote. but since this isn't the place and it's a little tacky, I wasn't sure about telling you all. As for...
Allan Witham
akw141
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Jul 2, 2007
3:15 am

All would be fine if I didn't blush. I'm easily flustered, especially at work with authority figures. A simple question might signal the fight or flight...
Melissa Quidone
nyacer1980
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Jul 2, 2007
8:39 pm

Another thing to consider is that all is fine if you do blush, too. Some people get over this by taking Niacin supplements, which causes them to blush all the...
Bob Mayo
boxkjjkljklj
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Jul 2, 2007
11:54 pm

What is it that "causes" you to blush in certain situations? I would begin to get curious about what situations trigger this, and I would watch for when I...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
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Jul 9, 2007
6:39 pm

This is just a quick response for now, but my thing would be something similar to rejection. Be it that there is a group of people that I'd want to hang out...
Will
p_a_y_n_e_mx
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Jul 9, 2007
7:17 pm

I've noticed this in myself as well, especially when entering a new group of people. I've found that often times, especially when a group of people is already...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
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Jul 10, 2007
5:47 pm

You don't really forget about it. I think that some people are just very sensitive to physical changes. Like going out in the rain. Some people like it....
Will
p_a_y_n_e_mx
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Jul 10, 2007
8:10 pm

What causes me to blush is the attention I think. I don't like all eyes on me. A recent example happened two days ago when I was having lunch with my husband...
Melissa Quidone
nyacer1980
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Jul 10, 2007
7:34 pm

Melissa, Are you afraid of the blushing or afraid of being vulnerable? I kinda feel that way with sneezing. It's involuntary and hate having someone say god ...
Will
p_a_y_n_e_mx
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Jul 10, 2007
8:13 pm

There are two steps here. (1) you blush, (2) you feel bad about the blushing. Of course they feedback to make each other worse. I think when people initially...
Bob Mayo
boxkjjkljklj
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Jul 10, 2007
8:40 pm

What's so bad about getting attention from people? After all, I'm giving you attention right now, and you're not blushing are you? C'mon, be honest. Just...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
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Jul 11, 2007
4:01 am

I think that it's better to act even if your action stinks--although it usually doesn't--than to not act at all. Often times I find myself waiting and waiting...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
Send Email
Jul 11, 2007
3:07 pm

I think that it's better to act even if your action stinks--although it usually doesn't--than to not act at all. Often times I find myself waiting and waiting...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
Send Email
Jul 11, 2007
3:08 pm

I think that it's better to act even if your action stinks--although it usually doesn't--than to not act at all. Often times I find myself waiting and waiting...
Sam Rau
sam.rau@...
Send Email
Jul 11, 2007
3:10 pm
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