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I think that having the mindset of practice is a very good way to look at things. All to often--as I know to be true from my own experience--we can feel stuck in situations where we're unsure of what to do, in particular with social situations where there is simply no rule book from which to draw upon when deciding whether something is a "good move" to make or not. However, rather than worry me, this idea now empowers me: there's no rule book with rules which must be followed for a successful social situation. Because there's no rules--other than those which we define of course--there's no "supposed to" or something which, once learned or attained, will enable us to be successful. Of course there can be guidelines, like no picking your nose while on a date (unless you find someone who's into that sourta thing) which make the whole thing easier, but your persistence and mindset of practicing and learning are very important. This is how I know eventually you will be successful; even if that success is only to realize how far you've come already, rather than measuring how far you have to go (not that far, if I'm observing things correctly from the impressions your emails give me).
I haven't used AIM in quite some time; I actually lost my old password and couldn't get it back and... I should get back on there though, because for the time that I was I really enjoyed talking online to people. I often feel awkward meeting people for the first time in person--I either can't find the right thing to say or beat myself up over worrying about something which doesn't matter--and this gives me a chance to formulate my thoughts and articulate what I want to say; how much is lost in translation is another story. :-)
----- Original Message -----From: WillSent: Wednesday, June 13, 2007 4:20 PMSubject: Re: [SocialFitnessForum] Hello?
What's up with me socially? Well, some things changed and some things havent. I've been prescribed Prozac. I took myself off it after 3 months because I noticed it changed my....sexual... habits... I also read a article on MSNBC about Drugs like Prozac inhibiting falling in love. And since that was the main reason I was taking it. I stopped taking it after I read that. I tried out this online dating thing for about a year... It hasn't been totally good to me. Though recently I've been talking on the phone with someone from there who lives about 2 hours away. It's great to chat. That's about the most I got out of it. Never developed any relationships from there.I went to this place called xandu caberet. I liked the idea of the place. To summarize, you pay for a person's company. You walk in. Grab a table. Order dinner if you want. And a girl who works there sits down with you and chats. You can buy her drinks, non-alcoholic, which basically a tip to her for sitting and chatting.I found it a great way of talking and opening up to people. It was a million times better than the $80/hour professional I went to for the issue. I got more spending just $4, then 5 hours seeing the professional. I just been having a hard time spending money just to talk and be friendly with someone. But, as long as I am in the mindset of "practice". It's amazing.What I am currently struggling with is being lonely and single... Compounded with the shyness.. It's taking a toll on me mentally.I hope that wasn't a too long of a response haha.I haven't seen you online in forever Sam.. DId you change your AOL instant messeger screenname?
On 6/13/07, Sam Rau <sam.rau@wmich.edu > wrote:
I was wondering where everyone had gone... I haven't heard from anyone on here, and wanted to check and see how everyone is. Has anyone had some good experiences with social stuff lately; ya know like talking good and stuff? :-) Things have been going great for me lately in all areas of life, however I'm finding that I'm much more confident in social situations now. I'm finding, hard as it may be to believe, that I'm now able to talk to people and keep the conversation going. I've noticed that, rather than feeling awkward about pauses or lags in the conversation, lately I feel good by just putting myself out there and going with it (whatever it is). I find that most often others are more nervous--ore at least as nervous--than I am, and that I no longer need to feel awkward because I don't worry about whether or not I'm doing something wrong or not. I've tried to sto! p evaluatAt any rate, I wanted to find out how others are doing and ended up rambling on about myself. Please don't let me dominate this conversation; let's hear what's up with you?----- Original Message -----From: WillSent: Monday, June 11, 2007 7:43 PMSubject: Re: [SocialFitnessForum] Hello?
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