Hi Sweetheart!! I hope that you take this advice to heart because
once you find something to be happy about you won't be able to stop
smiling. I had a similar problem for about 10 years, I just could not
say "Good morning" to my co-workers because it was rarely a good
morning for me and I felt like a fraud if I did try to be chipper and
say it. This in turn only made me feel worse than I already did, so
I just didn't say it. Like you I was labeled, unfriendly, rude, and
nasty although I am not and do have friends who like and care for me
because of my fun personality and caring nature. But as I tell
nearly everyone that I respond to, don't be so hard on yourself; we
are our own worst critics. You are not evil, you are simply unhappy
and it shows. I'd also advise you to explain your smile as a
physical disability, this will allow you get understanding and
positive feedback from other people despite your unusual smile; it
will also be easier for you to accept it yourself and to ultimately
reverse the situation. You say that you like Stephen King novels,
but I would suggest literary works, television programming, and music
that encourage a more fun state of mind for you which in turn will
encourage you to smile. And don't worry about how it looks; it will
straighten itself out eventually. I personally find that I am upset
if I don't watch a least one hour or situation comedy on TV everyday,
it really helps to elevate my mood naturally. I personally like
Star Wars novels as literary mood elevators because they are super
fun, they have their dark elements of course, but they also have
really good action sequences and Jedi Knights and whatnot. The song
that just causes me to smile as soon as I hear it is The Typewriter
by Leroy Anderson a modern composer who also wrote Sleigh Ride. I
really love this song, it's great. Anyway, I hope that this helps you
with your problem; I'll also try to send you the song if I can get
your e-mail from the list.