I'm sorry I was away from my computer for a while. I hate to reply late! but I hope you still read this.

yes I totally agree with you. the price for staying the same is much higher and it has to be paid forever. that's a good idea, "the price for staying the same". if people could just realize that they are traiding upon the meaning of their life just to stay the same, things would really become different for them. fear and laziness, to simple words that have the power to build hell on earth...    its so good to have all these people here who appreciate the never ending willingness for change toward a better life.

thanks man. that's nice of you to say that. I'm 23 yr old. and as long as I remember I have been shy and not very happy. but one thing I have come to realize. the best way to fight shyness and depression is not to talk about them. a shy person knows very well what is shyness like. what he doesn't know and needs to explore is what a full social life is about. this is what the majority of self help books lack. you start to read them and although the author is really giving good advice, the hidden message in the lines is always this:"man you're screwed. go get a life you loser. you can't imagine what's out there. you're just stuck to your lonelyness. you're depressed. you're shy."

ofcourse I don't mean that the author is trying to convey these messages. he is honestly trying to help. but he doesn't consider the fact that the reader is a depresesd lonely guy who just needs some new attitude and spirit in his life. something that he has been do deprived of.  I don't know if you know Juggler. I love this guy. he's a pickup artist who just writes down his mental flow and sells it. and his writings really convey that shining spirit and attitude of a confident guy who knows what he's doing. and he does this without ANY reference to how a shy, insecure guy feels. he doesn't remind the reader about his defected mentality. rather he just takes the reader's hand and takes him to the unknown realm of joy and happiness. to the unknown realm of "LIFE". his language doesn't have the form of "a good advice to a screwed guy". that form of language, which is so commonly implied in self help books is really damaging. Juggler, on the other hand, just lends the reader his attitude for a while. and after that, the reader is no longer the same person. cuz he has discovered a new way to look at the world. although the reader can't keep this new way as long as he wants, although it will just slip out of his head and he will be back to his old self soon, he won't be the same person ever. and he will thereafter be persuing that new attitude forever. OH, I'm not here to advertise for anyone! I'm just trying to help making group more efficient by stating my opinion on how a good advice for a shy person must sound like. actually, it realy shouldn't have the form of an advice or "a good piece of HELPFUL material". cuz an advice is for a guy who isn't doing well. and a help is also needed by such a guy. hence this way it is constantly reminded to the reader that he sucks with life. what he needs is just absorbing the spontaneous flow of thought that is emerging from a joyous soul.and only from a joyous soul. from a really confident person who is put together and gathered inside. who knows what he's doing with his life, and enjoys it. so, guys, if you can help, plz wake up! cuz many people, including me, need your help.

sorry for the long mail. I hope I have said something that can help.