I am in pretty much that same bind. One exception is that I don't so much
enjoy my solitary activities, but I don't mind them. I like going out but I
don't think I could be one of those people who go out every night, get
drunk, then go work the next morning.

I've long been pondering going to a therapist to maybe sort out my
unresolved problems as I`m not an outwardly emotional person and anything
bad or good that happens seems to get sucked in to a black hole and never
seen again but deep down I know all these unacknowledged issues are
affecting me in one way or another.
But going to therapy is like admitting to the world that I have problems.
I've already admitted to myself and my parents sort of know what I`m like
but I don't think they're even close to knowing the severity of it.

Sorry bout going just a bit off topic there but I tend to wander when I
start talking about stuff like that.
I can't really offer answers to the questions you've asked as I`ve been
asking them myself for some time. But hopefully someone on this list will be
able to help both of us.

ps. To people who have been/are currently going to therapy, what is it like?
It all sounds sort of...seedy? Maybe not the word but I can't think of
another. I've never been able to talk to anyone openly about my feelings or
issues or anything like that unless I am considerably drunk. I'd feel
embarrassed and just a tad weird explaining all that to a complete stranger
face to face.

>Message: 3
> Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 10:08:52 -0000
> From: "jon_clark_19115" <jonclark@...>
>Subject: Anyone else unable to seperate personality from avoidance?
>
>First, yes I'm new here.
>
>Been sort of shy all my life. Now I'm 33 going on 34 and in a real
>bind. I'm in therapy for a few reasons, but most it seems to stem
>back to my lack of a social life.
>
>Problem is I can't tell just what type of social life I want. My
>interests and lifestyle are pretty solitary. I work second shift
>which puts me in work at the time most people are hanging out after
>work, but these are the hours i like because I'm not a morning
>person. I spend most of my time on the computer, watching TV or
>reading and I really enjoy these activities except for the fact I
>have few people to share them with.
>
>And I can't tell if that is by choice or if I kind of retreated into
>my own little world over time to avoid uncomfortable social
>situations. I can't tell if i should try forcing myself to change my
>lifestyle (which I enjoy) to increase my ability to socialize. Or if
>I'd be better off trying to find people who share my limited range of
>interests.
>
>So I'm wondering if anyone else out there finds themsleves at the
>same impass of having adapted so well to not socializing that they
>can't tell where their own intersts start and the defense mechanisms
>end.
>
>Jon
>
>
>
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~Alan~

"I remember when a few bob got you a good meal, a bottle, and a tavern
wench"

http://www.naquadah.co.uk
ICQ: 89463288


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