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I've learned that whenever we have bad feelings, it's usually due to us focusing on what we don't want. For example, I might be focused on not screwing up the conversation, which causes a bad feeling; I might worry so much about screwing up that I do in fact screw things up... Our minds are very powerful and, no matter who you are, give us whatever we focus on. Unfortunately, our minds cannot tell the difference between when we're focused on what we want and when we're focused on something else. Using my previous example, if I was focused on not screwing up, my mind would simply process "screw things up" and would find some way for me to screw things up. I might act awkward, say the wrong thing, come of as not being confident etc. However, if I focus on how well the conversation is going, what an interesting person I'm talking to, how comfortable this person makes me feel, what an amazing person I must be to be having this conversation... My mind will make this situation unfold. And I've found that, when we focus on what we want, we tend to get it and things go well. When we focus on what we do not want, not only do we get that result, but we feel bad in the process. Since we create our feelings, it' may not be so hard to imagine that we have the resources inside to create whatever feeling we want. Same goes for our results in life, our behaviors and, to take it one step further, our reality. We can literally create anything we want, if we only focus on it. Some who might disagree with me would say that they can't picture this or that they can't do it or whatever, however I would ask those people if they truly wanted to do so. Some people constantly get results in their lives which they don't want; perhaps those people now have some insite as to why they are getting those results? That is, if they want to... OK, I'm done for now. :-) Be well and keep up the good work!
----- Original Message -----From: Laurence BakerSent: Wednesday, December 20, 2006 1:59 AMSubject: [SocialFitnessForum] Re: Hi from a newbie & ? about taking reasonable social risksI haven't always been able to see this, but more recently I'll be
walking away from some encounter where maybe I had some unpleasant
feeling come up somewhere, and it will occur to me without any kind of
analysis that the feeling was totally unnecessary. That it was
irrelevant, and the important thing is, these aren't just thoughts - I
really feel this way, like next time, there's no reason I need to feel
that. Whatever usefulness it might have had in the past has long since
been lost. I credit this to awareness.
> If it doesn't feel fine, that's OK; these feelings are just
feelings, and don't often reflect what's really going on. Sometimes
they do but, especially when they're negative, often times they don't.
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