Hi,

I'm new here. My name is Steve. I'm a shy undergrad with a tendency
to bury myself in school work. I have all kinds of social phobias,
but I think a lot of it comes down to fear of social incompetence and
fear of not realizing that people don't like me.

I have friends, but I wish I was closer to them, and I wish I had
more of them. Frequently, on weekends, I'll sit in my room, instant
messaging people to ask them if they're doing anything and if I can
come along. If no one is available, I'll lie around feeling depressed.

When I'm actually with people, I often have fun, so long as they're
giving me positive feedback - talking to me, smiling, etc. If they're
talking to someone else or not acting quite friendly enough, I'll
agonize over whether I'm wanted or not and usually awkwardly leave
the situation.

My romantic life is essentially non-existant, and, every time I try
to do something about it, I'm overwhelmed by this feeling that I have
no idea how to go about doing whatever it is I need to do, be it
flirting, dating, kissing, dancing, or anything else. I am very
inexperienced, but I think I'm also prone to panicking. I'll tend to
ask my friends for tons of advice about this stuff, but it doesn't
actually help me very much.

Does anyone have any thoughts? (And, by the way, does anyone have any
advice on learning how to do club-style dancing? I'd really like to
be able to use dancing as a way to socialize, but simply watching
other people and asking for tips doesn't seem to be working.)

thanks,
Steven Young