Well I closed myself up by grade 8 because I was always very sensitive
to criticism from other people, especially my peers. Ive always been
more emotional about things, especially criticism and so around grade
8 I just automatically closed myself up to people because I noticed it
made them stop talking to me. Of course, it doesn't help the
situation, it just hides the problem. So anyways, only now at 24 am I
starting to open up again (now that it's safe, ha). But its a slow
process. At least im aware of my problem. I smoke pot with other
people because it really helps open me up to others and makes me more
interesting as a person. I don't abuse pot though, only once in awhile
do I smoke it.

Im otherwise a fairly healthy person as it is.











--- In SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com, "Foxx" <foxx@...> wrote:
>
> And what happened about the time of the 8th grade? It might be helpful
> for you to remember that.
>
> I fairly often got paranoid on pot (haven't used it in many many years).
> I believe it increases the sense of distance from other people. So it
> can be a positive experience for those who found other people too
> intrusive at some point, for example rape survivors, but negative for
> those who found others too distant (me).
>
> I definitely agree about martial arts. A fairly short stint at karate
> completely freed me of my fear of dogs (childhood experiences there).
>
> Parents are very important, that's another message.
>
> Foxx
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com
> [mailto:SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of Jeremy
> Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2006 5:25 PM
> To: SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [SocialFitnessForum] Re: Thanks for the insight!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Hi y'all,
>
> My god, I feel like all you guys are my brothers and sisters, I can
> totally relate to all of you. The strange part is, I was completely
> outgoing untill grade 8 and then I completely closed up inside, never
> said a word to anybody, was always the silent kid. I would always
> freeze up in social gatherings but for some reason I didn't mind
> public speaking in front of the class, possibly because I commanded
> their attention instead of me looking for their attention, which might
> of made me more calm from less pressure. The other odd part is that I
> can completely be outgoing when im smoking pot. It's like that part of
> my brain that is self-concious gets turned off and I don't worry
> anymore. I turn from the quite kid into the life of the party. By the
> way, Im from Canada, so smoking pot isn't illegal here. It's very
> therapeutic for overcoming social anxiety if you ask me. Another thing
> I recommend is martial arts to anybody. This strengthens your
> confidence and self-esteem, plus, it forces you to interact with
> others. Any group activity does, but martial arts is a nice blend of
> independant and group activity, kind of a nice transition to other
> things(?).
>
> I have a question to you all: What was everyones parents like??? For
> example, were any of them plagued with social anxiety as well, or were
> they very social? If it's too personal, you don't have to answer. Im
> just curious.
>
> Nice talking to you all.
>
> Jeremy
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --- In SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com, "Glen" <pringle31@> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks for you reply, yeah i do feel more comfortable if i have a
> level
> > of control on the conversation i have with people i find it very easy
> to
> > talk to people i work with about work matters because i guess i don't
> > feel anxious around them. Put me in another situation where some of
> the
> > variables changed and there are new people i tend to freeze up and go
> > blank it can be frustrating. Social conversation can be a little hard
> at
> > times it depends how comfortable i feel sometimes i do draw a blank if
> > im not comfortable with the topic even if i have something to say i
> > worry that im going to say something that will make people not like
> me.
> > The reality is its really the opposite even if what you have to say is
> > mundane or a little bit wrong i think people appreciate that you just
> > connecting with them. Connections with other people always start at a
> > shallow level talking about the weather, sport etc. And then
> friendships
> > grow from there well that what I've been told and read about haven't
> had
> > to much luck with it yet but i think persistence is the key. A church
> > group sounds like a good idea its hard to find social groups that are
> > open so this is something i may look into.
> >
> > Cheers
> > Glen
> >
> >
> >
> > On Sun, 09 Apr 2006 19:48:18 -0000, "binace1" <binace1@> said:
> > >
> > > Howdy, all.
> > > Thanks for sharing your opinions and experiences. Although I
> > > wouldn't wish it on anyone, it is a bit comforting to know that I'm
> > > not the only social misfit out there. I suppose misery loves
> > > company, even if I don't.
> > > Glen, your description hit the nail right on the head. I think
> > > that talking about technical issues is easier for us because we can
> > > usually anticipate the direction of the conversation. On the other
> > > hand, casual conversations usually veer towards subjects that are
> > > completely foreign to us. For example, if I'm in a group discussing
> > > baseball or Stanley Kubrick movies, I can usually pull my own
> > > weight. If the conversation moves to children or travel, I'm at a
> > > loss. Do you have similar problems? When subjects with which I'm
> > > not familiar arise, I feel as though I can't even formulate an
> > > intelligent question.
> > > I've always considered myself a religious person, but never
> > > felt the need to regularly attend church. Why I felt this way is an
> > > entirely different can of worms, but I've recently joined a church.
> > > I don't expect that I will derive much spiritual benefit from this
> > > experience, but I'm hoping that the chance to interact with people
> > > who do not share my profession will help me to be more successful in
> > > social situations. I've been forcing myself to attend church
> > > functions like card parties and such. Even though I'm always panic-
> > > stricken when I first walk in the door, it seems to be slowly
> > > improving. Church groups may one way to meet new people and improve
> > > your social skills.
> > > I've also been doing volunteer work at a nursing home. The
> > > residents there are so happy to have anyone talk to them that a
> five-
> > > minute conversation can be the highlight of their week. You
> > > mentioned that you've had some dating disasters. Although I'm sure
> > > (or at least I think) that you're not looking for a ninety-year-old
> > > girlfriend, maybe socializing with people from whom you don't want
> > > anything (a romantic realtionship, sex) in return might be a good
> > > way to practice socialization. At the very least, you can help make
> > > some lonely senior citizens happy.
> > > Allan, your posting was also very insightful. I doubt that
> > > any person is significantly smarter than any other. We probably
> > > just have different aptitudes. I'm a perfect example of this
> > > concept. I'm very capable when it comes to certain areas, like math
> > > and science. On the other hand, I have no musical or artistic
> > > ability at all, and of course, my social skills are dreadful. Would
> > > you descirbe yourself similarly, with very prominent strengths and
> > > weaknesses, or are your abilities more evenly distributed?
> > > You mentioned that you are alone and "hate it with a passion".
> > > Why do you feel this way? Why do you think that having friends or
> > > a romantic interest would make your life better? I want to be able
> > > to chit-chat at work so that I can perform more effectively. That
> > > is, if someone needs my particular expertise, they won't be hesitant
> > > to ask because I'm the "quiet guy who never talks to anyone". On
> > > the other hand, I may need someone else's help and I don't want that
> > > person to be unwilling to offer it because they believe me to be
> > > unfriendly. I take it that you are looking for more from your
> > > social interactions. This is the big question, then, at least from
> > > my perspective and possibly yours, too. What benefits can you gain
> > > from a circle of friends? I'm not convinced that extensive social
> > > interaction for its own sake is a basic human need. I think that
> > > because extroverts are necessarily the most visible members of
> > > society, we all feel pressure to be as extroverted as possible
> > > because that's what we perceive as normal.
> > > Finally, I think you're dead-on about talking down to
> > > people. My field is one that is so esoteric that it is difficult to
> > > even describe what I do. So, I'm straddling the line between
> > > spouting technical jargon and talking down to people. It certainly
> > > is a struggle. I don't really believe that most people are
> > > superficial or back-stabbers, at least no more than am I. We're all
> > > just human and everyone is ultimately only concerned with his own
> > > well-being.
> > > Anyway, what you've written has really sparked my interest
> > > and I'm wondering if I'm missing something terrific by not being
> > > interested in having a circle of friends. Maybe I don't want to
> > > know the answer to that question. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
> > > Thanks again for sharing and best of luck to you!
> > > ____________________________________________________________
> > >
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> > > ____________________________________________________________
> > >
> > > References
> > >
> > > 1. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SocialFitnessForum
> > > 2.
> > >
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> > > 3. http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
> > --
> > Glen
> > pringle31@
> >
> > --
> > http://www.fastmail.fm - The professional email service
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
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