well, I'm no PhD scientist, and probably not nearly as smart as you are, but I'd imagine at least part of what you're experiencing is you don't feel comfortable or like you have much in common with the people you're trying to conversate (v form of conversation?) with. I can only go by what you've said, but I think what I'd recommend is to find something other than work that is of interest to you. Conversation should only feel like work if it is work. I've known a few MIT graduates (one I can think of anyway) and he would often talk down to those around him without meaning to. The truth of the matter is most people are dumb, except maybe in one or two subjects that they're really interested in. If you really are happy alone (which I can't really relate to myself. I'm alone and I hate it with a passion) you can probably get by just practicing social techniques. If you have no aching need to interact with people why be nervous? What the hell difference does it make what they think? There are plenty of aloof pricks that manage to earn respect, succeed, and (pardon my French) fuck them if they can't take an attitude. On the other hand, if you do want friends or at least casual acquaintances, if for no other reason than to have someone to talk to, explore the mysteries of the universe with, and maybe now and then do a two or more person activity with, you're going to have to accept them on their level. I've known some very interesting people that weren't reeking with brilliance. I've even fallen in love with a few. If you'll allow me some armchair psychology it's possible some of your isolation is protecting yourself. You're a respected professional, and might be afraid of making a fool of yourself. You can think of social interaction as an equation, or a game, or a military strategy. Determine what exactly you want out of it, and balance that with a plan. No one said you have to be an Einstein of socializing, and if nothing else if the experiment fails with one subject you have a lot more to work with. Socializing at work may or may not be an answer. I don't have enough data to determine that. You wrote this forum so apparently you feel the need fo some kind of socialization, for whatever reason. Most small talk is difficult for me, and usually is about things that may not interest you that much. I've heard some of it wondering at things I've long since exhausted and explored ages ago.

 

So maybe I'm not the best person to ask. I can preach, but I'm not that good at practicing my sermon. The best thing I can say is relax, accept people on their level, and don't take it too seriously. People may be superficial stupid backstabbing jerks half the time but they have their good side and having friends - or at least the right friends - has usually made my life more fulfilling. Sometimes even the wrong friends can at least make it more interesting. Good luck

binace1 <binace1@...> wrote: