Hello.

This is my first time as a member of a group like this. I've
looked at some of the other posts and saw that other people have
some of the same problems that I do. My situation seems a bit
different, though. I'm a thirty-year-old PhD scientist with a
wonderful job and a fantastic salary. I routinely give talks to
large audiences (> 100 people) without any difficulty whatsoever.
In fact, I even enjoy this type of activity. On the other hand, if
someone button-holes me in the hallway for a few minutes of idle
chit-chat, my heart starts racing, beads of sweat pop out on my
forehead, and I have no idea what to say. I find it almost
impossible to maintain eye contact for longer than a few seconds and
these conversations often end in awkward silences. Afterwards, I
replay the scene continuously in my mind, trying to think of how I
could have responded at different junctures in the conversation. I
imagine my co-workers find me to be an aloof prick, but that's
probably not accurate at all. What the hell is my problem?
I don't have any friends, but that doesn't really bother me.
I'm most comfortable and happy when I'm by myself. I wouldn't in
any way characterize myself as lonely. Unfortunately, the world we
occupy demands some socialization and I seem to be incapable of any
normal casual interpersonal interaction. It's been liberating just
to write this and I'm wondering if anyone else is in a similar
situation to mine.