I don't really have a suggestion for you, but I do have something which may
give insite into certain areas of your life. I have recently began to
explore the dating scene again, as up until this point I have always been
too shy to approach women; I have had several relationships in the past,but
I have always felt that I am not good enough for women to be attracted to me
or that they could never be attracted to me so why bother? After doing some
thinking about this I decided to force myself to go out and meet other
people, whether it be with women or with dealing in social interactions in
general. I found that, as I forced myself into these situations, each new
situation which I would enter into would become easier and easier. It turns
out that I am worth it,and that I had been holding onto the wrong beliefs
about myself, which was proven by my successful interaction with people.
And each success strangthened my belief in myself, which only made things
easier the next time, and as you can probably see this is a cycle which (if
you want/believe it) will only move you forward. I'll include a bit of
interesting reading that I obtained recently; please let me know what you
all think about this, whether it seems to work or whether you think that it
can't...

YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT!
Something that is bandied around a lot, but not always fully understood, is
the importance of the belief and expectation system that we all have.
"Believe
it, expect it - and you'll find it!" many a self-help book or therapist
says. "If you can see it, you can be it!" goes another 'positive mental
attitude'
phrase. And there's always Henry Ford's: "Whether you think you can or think
you can't, you're probably right..."

There's truth in all of them - but there're also hidden meanings that the
subconscious can so easily take on board instead of that which we
**consciously**
mean. That first statement can so easily mean that you won't get what you
actually want, but that which you automatically believe and expect to
receive,
good or bad. "If you can see it you can be it," works some of the time, but
it can also be read 'backwards' so that if you **can't** see it, you can't
achieve it - yet there are times when people achieve something almost by
accident. And Henry Ford **might** have meant that if you can't actually do
something,
then your mind already knows it, so you might as well not bother...

Belief, true belief, is essential for success but sometimes a little more
difficult to find than we would like. The sort of positive belief that we
need
has to be as utter and complete as the belief that you are reading this
email. Or that you know how to read in the first place. In other words, it
needs
to be so deep that you don't have to even think about it - it's inbuilt and
totally natural.

One of the best statements to aid this sort of belief is: "Be careful what
you look for. in case you find it." It's difficult to misunderstand that
one,
either at a conscious or subconscious level; it leaves you in no doubt that
if you don't look for what you want, then you'll find what you're looking
for
instead. So if the person who believes that people don't like him/her
searches for evidence that s/he is right, rather than wrong, bad news will
be on
the way!

When we seek anything, we ignore that which doesn't fit the 'search
profile' - and we keep on searching until we find what we were after. If you
were searching
through a drawer for a valuable coin, you probably wouldn't remember the
paper clips that you found, or the elastic bands, old receipts and so on.
but
if you believed that the coin probably wasn't there in the first place you'd
be seeking to NOT find it - and you'd take much more notice of all the other
stuff. odd, maybe, but it's the way the human mind works.

And there's more to it. If you 'know' (truly believe at a very deep level)
that something exists, you'll search harder. Consider this scenario:

Somebody tells you he THINKS there's a needle in a haystack but he's by no
means certain; if you find it though, you will receive a huge cash reward.
You'd
search for a certain length of time before you decide that it's not there
and then give up. But if you actually SAW that needle being thrown into the
haystack,
you'd search for a whole lot longer! If you know beyond doubt something
exists, then it's easier to find.

The point of all this might be obvious by now: the happiest people in life
always look for exactly what they want to find and that which they **know**
(truly
believe at a very deep level!) is there - and they find it eventually,
happily ignoring or not seeing everything and anything that doesn't fit the
search
criteria. If they are searching for success, whatever success means to them,
they won't give up the search until and unless they find it. Even while
they're
searching, they're happy, because they **know** (truly believe, etc) that
it's just a matter of time until they find what they're looking for. And it
is.

To lend power to your own quest for success, just recognise that all
successful people were unsuccessful at the beginning. The only reason that
they became
successful was that they found what they were looking for.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Mary" <old_Indian_jewelry@...>
To: <SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, January 07, 2006 4:32 AM
Subject: [SocialFitnessForum] Hello everyone! I just joined tonight, (or
morning). I'd love to hear from you.


>
> Hello everyone!
>
> I was up late again, it's 4:30am here in Mass, and found
> your group.
>
> I have social phobia bordering on agoraphobia.
> I tend to avoid people as much as possible, sometimes
> staying in for days at a time. I stay up all night and
> sleep during the day to ensure that I won't see anyone.
> I usually take jobs where I meet very few people so I don't
> have to interact with anyone.
>
> I'm tired of not living a full life, I want to get out
> of this self imposed prison!
>
> I will keep this short as I really should try to get to sleep.
>
> Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated,
> I look forward to hearing from all of you.
>
>
> Thank you!!
>
> Mary
>
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> Yahoo! Groups Links
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