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Shyness, lack intelligence?   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #369 of 799 |
Re: Shyness, lack intelligence?

I'd agree w/Stuart's response.  Also, if THAT was the person's comment, THEY may be unintelligent person.  Based on their simple statement that class sucks, there really wasn't much that could be expected of you in terms of a response.  It sounds like you responded appropriately by simply acknowledging the remark.
 
What you can do is next time a thought occurs to you, you can make it a point to comment, give your opinion about something or ask a question.  It really is about focusing externally, which is hard to do when you're focused internally on anxiety.  If you learn to feel good about yourself as a worthwhile human being regardless of your social/conversation skills, you will be less worried & better able to socialize & interact w/others. 
 
You have to give yourself credit for any positive steps you take, no matter how small.  Anything you say or decide to talk about w/others is a positive step -- since it's small talk, it really doesn't matter what you say.
 
I can identify w/your dilmma, though as I used to find myself in similar situations often.  It's just very recently that I've been able to overcome a lot of my old hang ups & anxieties & live a much happier, more healthy life.  Socializing & conversation skills have finally started to become more natural to me w/practice.
 
I was just thinking earlier today about how I'm comfortable in & enjoy many social situations that used to cause much discomfort & anxiety.  I just try to relax, enjoy myself & enjoy interacting w/others, but not worry about it when things don't go perfectly (or as I'd like).  I just accept & let it go & usually can find some humor in it.
 
I remember I was at a social gathering (a dinner club) quite some time ago.  There was one person who was new there & clearly introverted, quiet & uncomfortable being there.  He made the comment that he'd never been to that type of function before & didn't know what to talk about. 
 
I didn't respond directly at the time (he was a pretty serious guy), but remember thinking to myself that the answer is to talk about anything -- whatever he felt like talking about would have been appropriate (w/in reason) & other people could then respond, give their opinions on the subject, ask ?'s or change the topic.
 
Anyway, those are some of my thoughts I wanted to share.  Hope it helps!

 

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Message: 1
Date: Tue, 25 Oct 2005 16:32:50 -0000
From: "hindu_writer"
Subject: Shyness, lack intelligence?

As I am sitting in a classroom the person next to me turns and says
something like, "Oh, class sucks." The person stares for a moment,
looks me right in the face. Akwardly I reply, "ya." They look away and
usually never talk to me again unless they are supurbly outgoing. What
do you say to that kind of a question or any question that does not
involve a lengthy explination? People judge me by those questions. Do
I lack the intelligence to think up an adequate reponse which will
earn me a good name in their eyes? It is rather disappointing.


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Thu Oct 27, 2005 7:14 am

mt129
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Message #369 of 799 |
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As I am sitting in a classroom the person next to me turns and says something like, "Oh, class sucks." The person stares for a moment, looks me right in the...
hindu_writer
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Oct 25, 2005
4:34 pm

If i knew that answer, I would not have subscribed to this forum :)...
Will
p_a_y_n_e_mx
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Oct 25, 2005
9:18 pm

Intelligence has nothing to do with it. It's all attitude. You are wrapped up in your internal world and your outgoing classmate is looking externally for ...
Stuart Goldman
stugold
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Oct 26, 2005
2:14 am

I'd agree w/Stuart's response. Also, if THAT was the person's comment, THEY may be unintelligent person. Based on their simple statement that class sucks,...
mt129@...
mt129
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Oct 27, 2005
7:14 am
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