Hi, I am new here. I just finished college and am going to be moving
to a new city for a job. I am worried about making friends. I don't
know if I would say I had social "anxiety" exactly, though I am a
pretty anxious person in general. But I think a bigger problem is that
I'm just not good at conversations, especially small talk and
introducing myself. I always feel like I'm just a few seconds behind
the rest of the conversation. In small groups, I can never think of
things to say and feel like an idiot. In big groups, by the time I
think of something to say, someone else has already spoken and the
conversation has moved on. It seems like in a group there's always at
least one person who just likes the sound of their own voice, while
for me, trying to force my way into a conversation just wears me out,
so it seems easier to leave the talking to the people who enjoy it.
But then I'm amazed by how fast people I've just met start referring
to me as "so quiet," because I feel like I haven't even had a chance
to speak up.

The result is that nobody notices me. I don't know how to be
interesting. Even among the few friends I have now, I feel like I'm
always out of the loop. Nobody confides in me. Nobody is interested in
me on a one-on-one basis. I'd like to be dating, but I never meet
anyone, and I'm starting to worry that, as I get older, my lack of
experience with dating is going to make me even more behind in
developing relationships in the future. When I was little, I was fine
with spending time alone, but I think that has meant that now I don't
have the social skills that everyone else does, and I don't know how
to communicate with other people.

Now that I'm moving and starting over, how do I make an impression on
the people I meet, other than that I'm quiet? Does anyone have any
tips for participating more in conversations and how to make people
want to get to know me?