--- In SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com, "pepperscucumberslettuce"
<pepperscucumberslettuce@y...> wrote:
>
> Is anyone out there? Please answer my post ( feeling shy) I really
need
> suggestions.

Have you tried any cognitive therapy at all? is it just a problem
with ppl you like do you get embarrassed or feel negative about
yourself? there are some really good books that have certainly helped
me if you haven't aready gone down that route. Its lso worth looking
at some of the older posts on this mssg board for helpful advise. any
more details you could give about your issues & about your self would
be a help.
With me its pretty strange, im obviously shy & find it difficult to
make friends. But for some reason i have lots of friends but i tend
to rely on the friends i already have making new ones for me if that
makes any sense. i wouldn't consider my self a loner or anything like
that. But i am very quite at times especially when their are
extroverts around & im meeting ppl for the first time i tend to stay
in the backgound.
An example would be when i went to a party a few months ago & met
some ppl id never met b4. somebody commented how quiet i was so then
i was more paranoid than ever. i tend to think that ppl are thinking
what is the point of me being around or something negative like that.
It just makes things worse i just tend to go even quieter in those
situations. but ive come to the conclusion that its obviously cool
with ppl because im still friends with them. they have obviously
realized that it takes a bit longer to get to know me.
the main problem for me is the opposite sex, i can live with fact im
shy & have a few socially related phobias but the fact that i cant
get a girlfriend because i go to pieces if i even remotely fancy any
girl i meet is hell.
I started to go to the gym & thinking more positively about myself.
it has certainly maid me more confident but i still fall at the last
fence. i can say all te right things b4 hand in my head im James Bond
but then i go to speak & it just doesn't work i just cant relax & be
myself.
i recently lost my job which is probably the best thing thats
happened to me. i always felt i was underachieving but was afraid of
what i might have to go through to make the change. i see this as a
new start, i will be moving out of this gohst town & into the city.
As you can imagine this isn't go to be an easy thing for me to do im
going to have to face up to my biggest fears. But i do slowly feel
like im winning the battle & apparently this city has the biggest
female to male ratio in the country so who knows.