Are you by any chance Carducci under another name? ;)

I just see that you've recommended his books A LOT. Either you really
like them or there's something in it for you. ;)

Just kidding, of course.

Cheers.

--- In SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com, "Annette _"
<laprofessore@h...> wrote:
> Royalties to Carducci! I hope this will encourage people to read
his books ;-)
>
> Annette
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Stuart Goldman
> To: SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Tuesday, December 14, 2004 9:45 PM
> Subject: Re: [SocialFitnessForum] Shyness at times, not enough at
others?
>
>
> Excellent advice, Annette. Right on the money and
> well said.
>
> Stuart
>
>
> --- Annette _ <laprofessore@h...> wrote:
>
> > Here are some tips from Carducci's books to get you
> > started.
> >
> > 1. Say "Hi, my name is ---."
> > 2. Do one of the following:
> > a. Ask a question
> > b. Pay a compliment (e.g. on something the
> > person is wearing)
> > c. Offer to help (e.g., "Can I get you
> > something from the buffet table?")
> >
> > You can start with a comment about the situation
> > you're in together, which is better than the
> > weather. Then you can ask a question to get to know
> > something about the person, why they're at the
> > event, whether they're enjoying it, etc. These are
> > non-intrusive and easy to answer. Open-ended
> > questions are better for conversation than yes/no
> > questions. Ask followup questions, offer
> > nonpersonal tidbits about yourself related to the
> > common situation that help the person get to know
> > you. Try to focus on what you'd like to know about
> > the other person rather than on yourself and you
> > will get more ideas. Remember to smile.
> >
> > Don't worry about being awkward at first. It's OK
> > to have to practice and learn. Most people are so
> > preoccupied with their own awkwardness that they
> > don't much notice yours anyway.
> >
> > There's more in the books, but this is the basic
> > direction. Gradually you will warm up and the
> > conversation will get easier.
> >
> > Hope this helps. I've been practicing for a few
> > years now and while the pre-conversation anxiety
> > never fully goes away, it does get easier and I've
> > had some nice conversations. It's not a magic
> > bullet, it's a skill you develop gradually.
> >
> > Annette
>
>
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