Having problems with message search?
Lots of suggestions in our archive. Also, a few sample books (you can preview on Amazon):
Bernardo Carducci, Shyness: A Bold New Approach
Bernardo Carducci, The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk: How to Talk to Anyone Anytime Anywhere About Anything
Larry King & Bill Gilbert, How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Good Communication
I found these books helpful. But in addition to reading, you have to make it your project, expecting to make mistakes and to get better with practice.
Good luck,
Annette
----- Original Message -----From: Tony RoySent: Tuesday, December 14, 2004 6:15 PMSubject: Re: [SocialFitnessForum] Shyness at times, not enough at others?--- stuff_plus_one <scubyfan@...> wrote:
> Hi all,
> New here. Found my way here from Zimbardo's site, whom I
> respect very
> much. I'm a 20 year-old guy, currently attending college.
> Single.
>
> Anyway, I am here because I obviously have a concern. I find
> that I
> am very shy, especially around females who have yet to become
> my
> friends. I force myself to speak with such people, but an
> inner part
> of me always believes that something may go wrong in just
> starting a
> chit chat, let alone progressing into a conversation about
> anything
> more than hellos.
>
> Conversely, I have the exact opposite reaction to people whom
> I know.
> In fact, I often find myself unrestrained, at least in terms
> of
> starting conversations, making suggestions, etc. I think that
> I
> sometimes go overboard and impose.
>
> I don't know if any of the above two situations are normal,
> but let's
> not use that word. I'm here to get suggestions on how to be
> less shy
> around strangers, especially females, and how to be more
> restrained
> among people who are my friends.
The solution in how to be less shy around strangers is to get to
know the strangers so you'll no longer be shy around them
(because they'll no longer be strangers). I know this sounds
very simplistic but it's true. Unfortunately I have no solution
in how to get to know strangers. If I did, I wouldn't be here.
Can anyone else offer some advice in how to begin a
conversation?
Tony
> Thank you in advance. This is a wonderful group you have here,
> and
> just reading a few posts suggests to me that you are a
> collection of
> fine, caring, knowledgeable individuals. Just the kind of
> people to
> help me! ;)
>
> Thanks again.
>
> Henry
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