Hi, this is my first post in this forum, but i would like to share
with some of the people here that shyness might not be what you
think it is, based on my experiences. I used to think i was a "shy"
person, because around other people i would be afraid to be myself,
afraid of what they would think of me, afraid of that rejection
feeling. And if you are "shy" you know what else goes along with it.
After reading a very good book called The 7 Habits of Highly
Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey, my perspectives changed
dramatically. It is a much greater level of a normal book you would
read for intrest, or studying, it is a book that as you read and
think about the material in it, and relate it to your life, you
really learn valuable lessons. The best thing i learned in it that
started changing my "shyness" was starting with my roots. He uses a
quote from somebody (i tried to find it but i couldnt lol).
Anyways, it basically compared human behavior to a tree, and it said
something about for every thousand hackings at branches, there is
one hack in the roots. What hes trying to say is that if your really
dont understand yourself, your values, and you try to be more social
that eventually you are going to hurt yourself inside even more than
when you tried to be more social. He uses a "inside-out" approach,
which means that you have to work on your roots before you can
really get out there socially and be social like you want to. You
might not understand what i mean when i say roots, basically, its
what your life is centered on. I could go on forever about this book
and what i learned from it, but i know you dont want to read a
forever going post, and i encourage you to get this book if you
really want to change your life altogether. Back to the "shyness"
not being what you really think it is. I thought i was a shy person,
im 15, and i was "shy" for most of my life. Im not your average
teenager though, because once i learned to center my life on a set
of principles i realized that it didnt matter if i was social or
not, i learned to not care what people thought of me, and i learned
about a freedom we all have, that can never be taken away from us.
Once i did these things, it really boosted my self confidence, and a
lack of confidence was my problem, not "shyness" what i always
thought it was. Once i accomplished a state of mind
called "independence" my personality naturally started to come out,
and i didnt have to think about what i had to say, it just flowed
out naturally. Im sure what a lot of this wont make sense to some of
you, but again if you would really like to overcome your "shyness"
you should really invest into this book, if u use it right you
realize you have the power to change your life, not the people
around you. If you have any comments please reply to this post,
because i would like to hear from other peole.