Yup, in my experience trying to suppress thoughts just entrenches them.

There's a lesson to be learned from great speakers. Great speakers talk to
audiences one person at a time. They focus on one person in the audience and
pretend they are the only other person in the room. They do this for 5 to 60
seconds, and then pick another person. This works even if there are 1,000
people in the audience.

This works even if you are in the audience of a meeting. When you are in a
group meeting, I suggest you pick out one person, such as the person currently
speaking, and pretend they are the only person in the room. Instead of trying
to supress your anxiety or shyness, ask yourself some questions about the other
person. Do they believe what they are saying? Do they seem honest? Do their
ideas make sense? What did they have for breakfast? :-) Anything is fine, as
long as it is related to them, not you. You can move your focus to another
person in the room any time you like, but again pretend you are alone with that
one person and put the focus on them.

Let us know how it turns out!

--Box

--- sarah_james999 <sarah_james999@...> wrote:


---------------------------------
I just thought I'd write to say that I've spent quite a lot of today
reading through lots of the past messages here (when I should have
been working!) and I have learnt a lot of useful stuff about getting
over shyness -- such as the importance of focusing on the other
person (and the external world in general) rather than looking
inwards. Maybe this is (at least part of) the key to controlling my
disturbing thoughts. It's true they are always about me! (Not
exactly sure how I can put this into practice though... still, it's
something to think about).

I read on another website that attempting to suppress thoughts about
a particular thing can actually make them happen more often! Is this
true in people's experience, and if so, how on earth can I avoid
these thoughts without deliberating attempting to surpress them??

Oh well!
BTW, when I am feeling shy, I also sometimes have really violent
thoughts about my own death - being shot in the head, buried alive
etc etc - I don't know why because I am pretty normal in most other
ways. Does anyone else have this experience?

Thanks! Do you know, this list has made me feel better, just by
reading it.



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