Annette,

Thanks for the links and books I'll check them out.

So trying to be a different kind of person is not the answer. I was
actually thinking I should try to be. But I knew in my mind that I
couldn't be :(

They tell me I will do just fine and that I will see when I meet
them there is no reason to be shy. But I am kinda worried because I
am meeting more than one person. I do have it set where I am meeting
one before the other but...they know each other already. So I am
hoping I can jump into the conversations and not just sit back and
be the 3rd wheel.

But I will try to do some of the things you suggested and I'm sure
everything will turn out just fine.

Thanks Again,
Shy1


--- In SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com, "Annette _"
<laprofessore@h...> wrote:
> Shy1,
>
> If you want a web site, check out http://www.shyness.com/shyness-
institute.html and read all their downloadable documents. They are
a clinic based in California that originated the social fitness
approach to conquering shyness.
>
> If you want books, it depends on what depth you are comfortable
with. In order of simplicity, some people on this list have liked
Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Another I
saw recently that looked very good is Larry King (the TV host) &
Bill Gilbert, How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets
of Good Communication. A bit more psychological is Bernardo
Carducci, Shyness: A Bold New Approach, which I personally found
very helpful. Carducci also has a brief guide based on his book
called The Pocket Guide to Making Successful Small Talk. All are on
Amazon.com.
>
> At the risk of making a complex problem sound simple, in a
nutshell what is working for me now is not to try to be a different
kind of person, but to be my quiet self and take more of an interest
in getting to know other people. E.g. think about what you like
about your internet friends, what more you'd like to know about
them, what you have in common that you can build on. Smile, be
friendly; people will always respond to someone who welcomes them.
They're coming to meet you because they liked you on line and want
to know more, so you are already starting on a positive level. Let
your enthusiasm show when you talk about the things you care about.
And it's OK to be nervous and not to be perfect. By now I am
learning to accept living with some anxiety in order to learn
whatever I have to learn about this in order to grow.
>
> Good luck,
> Annette
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: mycheng12
> To: SocialFitnessForum@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Tuesday, July 06, 2004 4:09 AM
> Subject: [SocialFitnessForum] Hi
>
>
> Hi guys,
>
> I was surfing the net and checking out sites on shyness. And
found
> this forum. I am a VERY shy person who has little to no friends
and
> hates to do anything social. I was wondering if there are any
good
> sites out there that might help me.
>
> I am really in need of advise. I have made 2 internet friends
and
> have plans on meeting them in a month. They know I am shy but I
am
> wanting to go meet them and try to be more outgoing. I don't
want to
> sit back and be quiet I want to be part of something and I want
them
> to like me. I can chat with them online cause I am not physicaly
> talking to them. But I am afraid when I meet them face to face
I'll
> be to quiet and then things will go badly.
>
> btw...this is a meeting of friends not a dating situation.
> If that was the case I wouldn't even dream of going to meet
them.
> Cause dating is a whole new and even more sad story.
>
> Thanks in advance
> Shy1
>
>
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