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Nicole,
I am a shy person who became a college professor. If you want the profession you mentioned badly enough, don't let your shyness stop you! Below I am copying remarks I posted to the list some months ago about how I overcame my fear of public speaking. The first trick is first to want it enough that you are willing to face your fear. The second trick is to find a way to systematically tackle the public speaking in stages. The third trick is to accept that you will make mistakes and sometimes feel like you look foolish, but tomorrow is another day, and usually other people don't think you look as bad as you think you do. And it will be better if you don't pretend, just admit when you don't know something and be willing to learn.
I did it by my own methods because I was highly motivated to learn how to teach. But there are also public speaking groups that can provide guidance and group support. You might find one at a local Y, a continuing education program, or the national organization Toastmasters (www.toastmasters.org).
I also encourage you to browse through the list archives because you will find other posts with tips you can learn from.
My earlier remarks are below. Good luck to you,
Annette
[Earlier post, 10/2/03]
I am a very shy person who became a college professor. I was so terrified of speaking publicly that I rarely participated in class all through my school years, yet now I routinely teach groups of up to 80 students at a time. I will try to describe what I did to learn my skills in the hope that some of it will help you.
First, let me say that in the U.S. we have adult education programs at many universities with non-credit classes in job-finding techniques with practice for interviewing, presenting oneself, and confidence-building. There are also support groups for people who want to overcome phobias about public speaking. You will have to do some role-playing but it is a supportive environment where you ease into it very slowly and you are among others who have the same feelings. Perhaps you can find a similar class or group where you are.
To get back to my story: I first had to make a group presentation while in college. For me, being well prepared and rehearsed helped manage my anxiety. I wrote out my notes in large print, then practiced speaking into a tape recorder. I was self-conscious, but it was safe because nobody had to hear how bad I sounded. When I listened to the playback, I picked out the roughest spots and went over them many times. Hearing myself improve helped build my confidence. By the time I had to do the presentation, people told me I looked very loose, and I sounded very fluent even though I felt anything but relaxed.
I kept using that technique and eventually I didn't need the tape recorder, but could just talk to an empty room, imagining people I was talking to, and listen to myself and fix the rough spots. It also helped a lot to imagine people interested in what I had to say, and to focus on my message and what I wanted to communicate to them. If you believe in what you are saying and really want to reach people, your enthusiasm about your message will help relieve your preoccupation with yourself. It will take you beyond yourself to a larger purpose. Also, don't try to pretend to be some image, but be yourself in your own style and with what you believe in.
When I do presentations, I try to make eye contact with individuals in the audience and pay particular attention to the ones who look attentive and interested. You don't need to reach everyone, just concentrate on finding a few individuals you can connect with. I also try to think positively--rather than dwell on thoughts that people will notice how nervous or inept I am, I concentrate on the idea that I have something valuable to give them. I believe that most people will be willing to give me a chance, and those who don't were probably not going to be receptive to anyone, so it isn't personal.
When I first began teaching I was so nervous it was like an out-of-body experience. I'm sure I was stiff and didn't connect well with the students. I had to be very scripted and unspontaneous. I kept trying because I really wanted to be a good teacher, and eventually I managed to get better with lots of practice. I tried not to dwell too much on what went wrong, but to focus on what was going right and to get better at it.
For job interviews, I took one of those courses. The most valuable thing I learned was to prepare answers to common questions in advance, especially the ones like "Tell me about yourself" that make us feel like we're under a microscope. My job counselor had us write a "two-minute pitch," a brief description of what our best skills and capabilities were and what we had accomplished. I found that when you keep practicing this, you begin to believe what you are saying! It really increased my self-confidence.
I also began with information interviewing rather than high-stakes job application interviewing. In information interviewing you make an appointment with someone in a field you want to work in and ask them exactly what they do in a day, how they got to be doing it, and what advice they can offer to someone who wants to enter their field. I was terrified of calling them (I made myself make two calls a day and was tremendously relieved each day I finished my quota). To my great surprise, almost everyone I called was willing to see me and loved talking about themselves. This also gave me practice, and in one case it directly led to a teaching job, as it turned out the interviewee knew of an opening elsewhere that I hadn't heard about and was willing to recommend me for it.
Now I have been teaching for 25 years and I am still amazed that I can get up in front of a group of 80 without a script (though I still prepare) and even make jokes. (It helps to have a sense of humor about your own foibles as well, and to realize everyone is imperfect and is winging it.) It took a long time and I am still improving but if I could do it, I believe others can, too. Especially if you have good social skills in informal settings, you can find a way to build on these skills. People are still people, just more of them in the room at the same time, and you can reach them in essentially the same ways, by wanting to share with them and make a human connection.
----- Original Message -----From: nicole623azSent: Monday, June 14, 2004 6:45 AMSubject: [SocialFitnessForum] help me please, newbie student needs advice!Well I have always been very shy. Not like some weirdo that never
says one little word. But just very reserved, insecure and quiet.
The big problem is, I'm figuring out what I wanna do in life. Become
a radiology technologist. And tonight, was my breaking point, I
don't know what to do anymore!! I was reading over the descriptions
of courses for rad tech program. And one description said, evaluate
orally x-rays of abdomen, limbs, chest etc etc. I know this isn't a
big deal for some people but it's a very big issue for me!! ORALLY
EVALUATING an x ray in front of the whole class. I just imagine my
mind going blank and me not knowing what I'm talking about and
looking like a complete idiot in front of people. Or being laughed
at. I know I sound ridiculous but I'm seriously thinking of dropping
the whole rad tech idea. Maybe there's people on here that are older
and wiser that can give me some good advice, or someone that had
avoided something for the pure fact of shyness. cuz no one
understands. No one is really that shy in my family. I feel so
disappointed and sad about it. This is what I'm pretty sure I wanna
do. I don't want to just drop what I wanna do with my career, and
the future of making good money, and do something that involves less
skill. But it's hard to push my self into a situation like that.
Help!! : O
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