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Hi Bora,
Just reading a book will give you some ideas, but they will only change you if you make them your project. After reading Carducci's book I went back and tried to apply things he said, to understand myself and to practice the skills. I found that they do help, but I also found, from my own backsliding, that you have to be constantly practicing and not slack off. The original founders of this list called it "social fitness" because they believed that, like physical fitness, you have to be constantly working at it to stay in shape. So, I go back and forth, but I find that when I really commit to it and work on it, it does get easier and things get better. I try to accept that this is just something that comes harder to me than it does to some other people, so I just have to keep working at it.
Good luck,
Annette
----- Original Message -----From: BoraSent: Thursday, June 03, 2004 12:02 AMSubject: Re: [SocialFitnessForum] ShynessHi Annette, I've read some of those self-help books and they're okay. But I haven't improved much, I dunno maybe I need some motivational thing. But thanks I'll look up the first one since I've read the second one already.~Bora~You might try some books on this subject (both paperback, on Amazon):"How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Good Communication" by Bill Gilbert and Larry King"Shyness: A Bold New Approach" by Bernardo Carducci. Contains advice on making conversation: it's less about finding the "right" thing to say than about directing your attention and warmth toward other people rather than on yourself.Good luck,Annette----- Original Message -----From: sophiebo84Sent: Wednesday, June 02, 2004 2:46 AMSubject: [SocialFitnessForum] ShynessHi, My problem with shyness is that I try to be conversational but
people don't seem to give me a chance because I guess I say the
wrong thing and it just creates an awkward silence because I don't
know what else to say.
I've always been shy though at times more than others. I had an
overprotective mother so I never really socialized with other people
my age when I was was a child. So as I grew into young adulthood I
didn't know how to interact with my peers and throughout adolescence
I've had only one or two very close friends at different times.
I just need good advice or counselling for this sort of thing. Can
anyone suggest anything?
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